Sobering Gift from the Sea

Every time I walk the beach the sights are incredible. Waves sometimes lap caressingly though these last few visits note curls of fulminating foam, pebbles and surf.

Wonder if the sea is responding to gravitational waves from space?  These waves are produced by catastrophic events such as colliding black holes, makes me think of pride, greed and “death do us part.”  Ah yes, the vocabulary of events imprinted on each and every wave, each and every soul.

Recently been enchanted by a pair of brothers sailing around the world. Their adventures make me smile. The collaboration of crew members, respect for the changing winds is elemental yet profound. Changing their world they compound mine as reflections shoot me to my youth with similar aspirations.

The number 8 represents Infinity and everything good in the universe which is infinite, such as infinite love, infinite supply, infinite energy, infinite time . . . in other words, 8 represents complete and unending abundance without any lack

Guess there is a reason why their adventures were found. Nothing is by chance is it? Just like the call to deliver an engine, an engine whose destination was a shipyard! There we met another lover of the sea; Todd the Pirate!!  Kindred spirit, precious soul, aspirations so pure, it astounded me the reflections!

An awakening dream, yes, we were being educated as we walked among this enclosed area of land where ships were being re-built and repaired. I was thankful I was cancelled from work that day, thankful was able to accompany my friend, yet as we walked among this port became sad. Like skeletons, full sails hidden, rows and rows of sleeping vessels. Was this their cemetery?

Did lack of finances dock them, maybe a medical necessity or the need for the sea was no more?  Talking with our new friend, so alive with his dream knew it was rebuilding time for him.

“I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving: To reach the port of heaven, we must sail sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it – but we must sail, and not drift, nor lie at anchor.” -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Jesus chose mostly sailors for His Apostles and it made me smile. There is something to be said for the one’s who have “sea legs”, like surfers, they are riding the waves on a platform of purpose. Desire for pristine beaches, clear waters , maybe sustenance or capturing the high while riding that power. Jesus knew how to calm it, he was here to teach us to cast out fear and walk out the potential of the unseen, unknown and knowing,  yes,  we are all equal before a wave.

“I am not afraid of storms, for I’m learning how to sail my ship”Louisa May Alcott

One day while viewing his favorite beach Cam Gary finds what looks like a beached navigational green buoy, so off we trecked, camera’s in tow to see it in person. It tickled us later to see the Cam actually caught us on our journey. The red arrow points to the sailboat we found, totally unrecognizable on a wildlife cam!  Guess we really are not alone, Big Brother’s eye is among us!!  Smile knowing the truth of a greater eye on us, yes the adventure was ON! Below in the cam pic Gary is carrying my 500 mm 🙂

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It saddened us tho to find her; wrecked monohull. She must have been beautiful at one time, wondering about her history, what her owners must have been feeling, if there was a death involved and why didn’t someone rescue her BEFORE she was beached!

Later we went back to see if we could salvage anything and found even more of her was submerged under the sand. During this visit we found another couple walking the beach and they shared this boat broke from its mooring in Miami and drifted up the coast finally being beached and was being fined daily by the Coast Guard! sigh  

Marine Insurance can deter this, yet what about broken dreams?  Yes the delicate balance navigating changing tides and winds of life as we pursue the right choice and avoid those that will result in harm or failure.  Ahh the wisdom to choose what wave to surf, knowing the best are those who have overcome their personal fears.

And again hear my Father’s voice, a week before his death;  love always wins and I smile. See the spark in my friends eye, who never stops dreaming, the one who discovers fun and perseveres with me every day. So thankful God sent him my way. You think you know yourself, and another layer is peeled back. He reminds me of my very first love from long ago, the one who taught me how to drive manual.

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Today it’s the one who gives the biggest hugs, this guy who wants to live on a sailboat, the one who understands heartache, loss and truly knows how to ride the wave of change. “I’ll ride it in with you, I’ll ride the wave with you, with our feet in the sand, and my heart in your hands The ride is always worth the rush We can’t give, we can’t give up now Our love will always be enough” Boyce Avenue

“We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea, whether it is to sail or to watch – we are going back from whence we came.” -John F. Kennedy

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Nakedly Unashamed

Delirious he said; I’m Delirious and waves kept crashing over him. Life certainly has a way of exposing, especially in regards to embracing change. Was I ready for this next step?

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All I could do was hold my breath and shoot. Never in a million years did I think I would be doing this, photographing PEOPLE and sometimes even on a naturist beach! Actually it was kinda fun, my models were FUN, curiously searching for meaning in life and they felt safe with me. Exploring ideas we met and they trusted enough to reveal their elemental wild, kaleidoscope’s of beauty.

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And it was all his idea, he was helping, sheltering, reaching out, and like the waves on the shore, thoughts enveloped.

He said;  “You need to re-create yourself”.   Alien musing, however knew his past , knew his sacrifice, knew his reality and his eyes totally betrayed him. He had become vulnerable  as best as he tried to fight it, he was caring again.  This made me smile in every part of my being. Knew a bigger plan was penetratingly revealing itself.

Love does that, exposes every bit of insecurity as you merge thoughts. You find true power lies in surrender;  “As you give so shall you receive”  And suddenly your life is transformed and your past is like a dream. You break free from the cycle of regret and forge into the present.

 

Recently brought my dogs for a long walk. Found an area where I could unleash them, WOW the joy expressed on their faces was undeniable.

Found out there is no state mandated leash law in Florida. The decision to regulate dog restraint or control is left to the county or city government.  Ah regulation, forceful law to control behavior.  Heck you really don’t know the true essence of yourself until you are given choice, shed the law and unleash your spirit, only then is your heart revealed.

Many of us are still in various forms of sequestration that can cage with false realities. There is a need for balance between actively engaging in the world and isolating oneself from it.

Love filming the uncaged ones where their presence teaches. Keen sight, delicate balance, expert flight, vibrant colors and masterful air stream flight.

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Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?

If you swapped your eyes for an eagle’s, you could see an ant crawling on the ground from the roof of a 10-story building.  Equipped all for hunting; survival.  Humans eat to survive, some eat to pacify the deepest hunger of all; agape.

Eagles know their weakness, failure could mean their death. The slightest injury could leave him to weak to hunt and cause her to starve.  Viewing them on my treks always leaves me astounded. Thankful this big one didn’t think our min pin Pickles was a worthy subject for his consumption! Spotting her was able to capture a few clips of the amazing wing span and incredible power. Just live to capture these moments. Her head was just turning white along with her tail, she must have been around 3 years old.

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Spying her reminded me of a trek a few years ago where I came across a nest with two eagle chicks!!  Eagles are great parents!

Sitting at the beach where this trek ended and there spied a common seagull. It’s in the upload you realize every living thing is so precious, pristine and the most uncommon creation you’ve ever seen. Tears well up, spending time in nature softens you. My heart was feeling again.

 

“No man is your enemy, no man is your friend, every man is your teacher.”-Florence Scovel Shinn

Sit here remembering my dads last thoughts, days before his passing as he looked into my mom’s eyes, smiled and said; “Love Always Wins”.   Their life wasn’t easy yet looking back never felt abandoned, never felt frightened, never went to bed hungry, yes, we were loved. Recently read this thought and totally agree.

“Great relationships are the result of a consistent investment of time, thoughtfulness, forgiveness, affection, mutual respect and rock-solid commitment”


Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end.  ~
Germaine de Stael

Along the bank of the marsh came across this lovely Limpkin. So thankful for my 500 MM lens as it lets me get intimate and my physical presence doesn’t intimidate.

It feeds almost exclusively on apple snails, which it extracts from their shells with its long bill. Its screaming cry is unmistakable and evocative. Oh I have witnessed their humble scavenging. Trekking through the wetlands of Florida you see the hidden if you’re patient. In the film below you can see how they extract the snail!

Unless you spend time in nature these moments are missed, mysteries stay hidden, understanding lost. Every Trek one receives far more then he seeks. Most times the uploads astound me, had no idea the beauty was so breathtakingly energizing.

The above two birds look so similar yet two totally different species. One is the American Purple Gallinule.  Can always tell the difference by their violet head shield versus the invasive Purple Swamp Hen with their striped red feet and red head shield.

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Although they are primarily vegetarians, purple swamp hens have also been recorded preying on mollusks, fish, frogs, lizards, snakes, bird eggs, and small birds. They may also impact the plant life of the wetlands and the native species that depend on it. They both are so beautiful and it isn’t the swamp hens fault for being brought here to America. Just like the Iguana, could never set my heart on destroying either invasive species.

“Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none”- William Shakespeare

As I prepare this blog this month, reviewing all the species filmed, new souls met and this real present feeling of contentment, I smile. Spending time with whom I love humbles me.

Divine love is the most powerful chemical in the universe. It’s a high which can’t be contained in one word, a presence which dissolves everything which is not of itself. It burns out ego when your heart breaks and walks away. And somehow mysteriously, in the dark night of the soul, healing begins.

“for I AM the great I AM. I will make your paths straight”  Proverbs 3  

Starting to understand that scripture now, the one that says; Be anxious for nothing… as I hike along the wilderness trail can’t help but smile. Thankful there is still “walk” in me, there are finances to get me to where I need to be, my mind is sharp, fear subsides as the voice in my GPS get’s me there, technology is mind blowing, however nothing tops Mother Nature.

It was a suddenly, and suddenlyunderstood.  To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. –Timothy Keller

I look at up and tears escape again, it’s such a secret place, a sacred place. Today even the cobwebs of my life are beautiful.


Thank you for walking with me.

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Intricacies

Sometimes light cascades and the ordinary becomes profound

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What appears to be lifeless limbs chirps!

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Smiling, following my heart, see kindness all around me. Yes see the truth, see the miraculous as fear surfaces it actually fuels humor.

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Going out on a limb seems to be a way of life for them.  Sometimes a visitation comes in real close, like this Florida Scrub Jay. Will never forget this moment.

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Would share stories with my family and see the sparkle in my Grandchildren’s eyes. One day Ethen stated; “Granny can you take me where you go to see the birds?”  To hear such a request was heaven and then what happened next was incredible.  It was the end of July and the air steaming. No one was on our Trek except for this lone Cormorant.

Nature showed up in a profound way and thankfully was documented. It delights me seeing family’s spending time in nature, they are learning a great secret, early in life. Today my grandson is 6’1, freshman in High School and yes loves “girl watching” however confident knowing seeds of Ornithology lay dormant.  Yes we seed every day with the exposure of our talents, our time spent with family and friends.

Today sit here so full. Made some of my famous Martha Vineyards New England Clam Chowder which was consumed with exuberance. Still a joy cooking menus from my past, like Grandmother’s chicken and dumplings, oh and mom’s Kilbasa with cabbage and sauerkraut. Yes, tear up, so many changes this past year, death and unspoken goodbyes, yet despite the pain of life, beauty survives, JOY births again amidst the power of forgiveness, the power of light and love remain.

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Grassy Encounters

They make me hold my breath, creatures in the grass. Hold my breath and shoot away, yes, altering life by suspending time. Their eye contact humbles me.

While walking down this rural path consumption was observed. Not even shying from my presence he continued his chomping! Fully enthralled in nature’s realm I also was becoming full.

Never know what you will see in the grass. Most times I am looking up, however this day what was seen beneath exposed even more layers of beauty.

We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature – trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence… We need silence to be able to touch souls. Mother Teresa

Breaking through green, this new season has me dredging through some uncharted territory. Resentment not allowed, for “You can never receive what you have never given, Give a perfect love and you will receive a perfect love.” 

Waves of healing were washing over me. Looking back over this year is mind boggling, maybe a bit revelational. Though still dusting off, a path has been made visible as remnants of truth remain.

Letting go is so painful and sometimes choice is taken from you. And even if you are facing detachment in the basest of forms know all things do work out for those who Love the Lord. Deep down only you can answer the question; Do you choose to love?   Contemplating the sweetness I watch the moss flow as one with the wind and it looks like the Turkey Vulture did too. It was the first time I had seen a lone vulture, she looked quite content.

Did you know the grassy moss hanging from our Florida trees is not moss at all? Nope,  it is a bromeliad, which means it is in the same taxonomic family as pineapples and succulent house plants!!  Spanish moss was given its name by the French.  Native Americans told the explorers the plant was called Itla-okla, which meant “tree hair.”  The French were reminded of the Spanish conquistadors’ long beards, so they called it Barbe Espagnol, or “Spanish Beard.”

Love spending time in nature, observing, filming and wow to share the experience with a best friend? Yes joy intensifies!! During one trek spied a Roseate Spoonbill. Never know who will be visiting the grasslands! Always a joy sharing these eyescapes.

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During one such trek my dear friend grabbed my camera and filmed me incognito. When I found the film I spewed out my java during the review. OMG, he’s only been studying ornithology for just a few outings and he did quite well with the guessing of certain species on his first trek to Viera Wetlands!! However I definitely can’t trust him alone with my equipment!

It certainly has been an interesting year. Thankful it is coming to an end, rest in knowing all is well despite exploitation. Yes one couldn’t plan any of the events which took place on this lone shoreline. And here I was, camera in hand, capturing every swallow.

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Sand fleas were abundant this day. Watched this one juvenile Blue Heron consume, you could see him rolling his catch around in his beak and sense getting through that hard shell was a chore, yet down the hatch it went!! Birds digest these hard exoskeletons with their gizzard. Occasionally you may see them regurgitate this cast which is called a pellet.  They purposely eat sand to help them digest this type of food.

How else could they digest TURTLES!! Yes just never know what you will see being consumed in the grass!!

Always a treat observing birds in the wild. Streaming through the grass they find insects and feast! Find a flock of Ibys and you will see the siphoning, their bright blue eyes with orange red beaks and maybe even see their pouches fill with water for future sustenance.

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Love just sitting and watching, the hidden busily surviving, their aliveness makes me smile, especially when they look my way, a gift indeed.

It has been an incredible year. Despite the chaos, despite the analyzing our hearts beat strong and love directed our actions. Values were honored and our focus grounded us. Rare beauty was captured, splendor in the grass spied and love rediscovered. Isn’t this yellow headed blackbird adorable?

Thank you all my friends and family, precious nature of man and beast, thank you for letting me glimpse heaven on earth. Thank you for letting me love you.

“Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.”  Message Romans 8:28

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Driving Force

A dear friend once shared, “never lie to yourself” , the statement revealed his camouflage. Been hurt with the truth before. Did I see the signs and ignore them? Maybe. But love does that right?

“Brenda this is your gift, your “catalytic”, it’s an odd gift, no one pray’s for this one, and yet, it suites you perfectly, Our Creators gift to you”  A visiting prophet stoically expressed his vision.

What do you mean?” was my response. He paused, smiled, paused again and with a sigh said;

“Brenda whatever is hidden within the recess of their soul, will be revealed, it may not always be light, just know you are divinely protected and they have been guided to you, for a teaching and the lesson”.  There was a longer pause now as I was attempting to digest what this prophet was sharing. He consummated with this;

“Many will be led to you as they search to see who they are”  *pause* “They will think it is for self esteem, when in actuality it is to face the truth seeded deep within them”.  

The session concluded with;  “You my child are called to be an agent of change”

First I was elated hearing this, felt a literal invisible cloak being placed on my shoulders, it was very heavy. Felt “chosen” felt “special”. It wasn’t until years later, understood, people really don’t like change, and to fall in love with a “a client of the Creator’s”?  TOTALLY unacceptable. Doing so, caused me great pain.

Maybe I was being called to a life of celibacy? Though this thought was definitely alien.

One must not deny their own authenticity, also we must not create graven images. By doing so we can unconsciously disown our passion and siphon off our gift for catalytic change! It was time to reflect within the confines of still calm waters,  drink in this doxology of gratitude.

Being poor in self confidence and creative energy keeps us in lack much more than a lean purse.”  Sarah Ban Breathnach 

While seeking balance, was called a gypsy. Someone I am fond of, actually grabbed my shoulders, looked intently at me and soberly called me this. At first I thought he was joking. Ok so even if it was under the moonlight, and even if he also said I looked like Miley Cyrus, the gypsy comment totally caught me off guard. Of course I asked him to elaborate and his thoughts made me gravely sad. He had no idea where he was sending me, launching me into my past as he was distinctly asking me why I had no roots, why I didn’t own a home, didn’t own land.  I was speechless.

Divorce has a way of leaving you nakedly exposed. You gather what is left of your heart and reinvent yourself. Knowing Radical Forgiveness is the only way, you journey on, at first mournfully within the dark night, a traveler without balance and our true nature unveils.

An unresolved issue will be like a cancer with the potential to spread into other areas of your relationship, eroding the joy, lightness, love and beauty. –Joyce Vissell

Lately only feel grounded with my camera in hand, tromping through the wetlands, or mountaintops and valley, watching the birthing sun, yes wherever no walls surround me.

Suppose I need electricity, wifi, so to upload images and see the miraculous, other then that believe the rest can just go to hell, even my hair. Oh it’s wild and unkempt and so me.

Our eyes give us away don’t they?

Our focus is where our heart is feeding. Sometimes desire complicates the assignment. Sometimes the need to be understood is greater than the need to understand.

And whatever is needed can be found. Hungry? Sad? Lonely? JOY? Yes, all answers are located just between your heartbeat. One must be still enough to hear, a practiced art of the Irish Travelers they say. It’s much deeper then listening. For when you hear, you transform, yes you change negative behaviour.

I am told it happens within an atmosphere of love, a humble heart wired to serve. And to find someone with the same faith, same hope to agree with you?  Dream with you?

Ahh to find that my friends is a driving force indeed!

For now, will be content uploading the refreshing as Nature exposes herself to me

And listen to dreams from Grandfather, knowing though I have no material ownership, roots indeed run deep. It’s time, to love on, shake off greed, avarice and lust. Embrace all of Our Creators gifts to us with matrimony being the utmost, His gift, choice, yes the covenant of Hope.

For if we fail to choose love, what and who will feed our offspring?!  We must shed apathy and take up our staff face our fears, and lovingly conquer.

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Balance

Always admired the ones riding those waves, challenging themselves they not only conquer, they SOAR!  Generated by winds of time, surface energy is transported and sometimes I get to witness and document the vigor, the effervescence. Ah to ride the tides of change, navigation in it’s purest form, revealing the character of man.

When you upload sometimes you see “the medium” who carries the mechanical wave.

Did you know the tallest wave ever documented was 1,720 feet tall and occurred in Lituya Bay in Alaska?! One father and eight year old son rode that wave, on a boat, the only to survive and tell the story. Most recently visited the shores in Florida after a recent hurricane; Hermine.  Native Americans called these storms Hurakons, after “a great spirit who commanded the east wind.” Gifted surfers seek to harness this force of nature and ride this energy, most recently understanding the makeup of these athletes.

Harnessing them is an enhanced exercise, where you breathe in high levels of oxygen, opening the cells allowing them to detoxify as we swill down these higher levels of adrenaline induced energy. Do you know oxygen deficiency has been linked to almost every major illness? Nothing comes close to the raw healing and detoxifying and alkalizing power of oxygen. Oxygen consumption is considered the best indicator of a person’s level of aerobic fitness.

Practice makes perfect right? My best friend recently shared when we start wind surfing we will be in the water more then surfing, like any sport, you have to “own” your body mass. Yes train those muscles to memory; how to balance, how to breathe, how to use those abdominal tendons for bracing, for that leg launch hop up. Ah yes, the rush of timing and riding energy in.

Surfers dream of riding that wave, they practice, they GET WET, yes they persevere. Why? They know how to harness the processed wave creation, they understand it starts not on firm ground, actually just the opposite. Raw energy is “out there” along with the predators and sharks. My friends ex husband below, a small world indeed.

One just needs to know about how to balance on their board, that magic place, centripetal force in motion! Yes, working against inertia and passivity they plunge into the depths leaving fear to the ground.

“All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.” T.E. Lawrencce

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Learning self-sufficiency is one of the things that people struggle with early on and its same with the one who longs to surf. Timing is everything. These are the moments we love to capture on film, these are the moments which fuel.

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Found I have been an observer of sorts, know what it takes but haven’t actively applied fully, the above knowledge.

NOW you are ready to not just swim, no, rather step out on the waters and RIDE THE MIRACULOUS!

Water people, lovers of submersion, wetness and cleansing! Love the journey and embracing changes can scare the crap right out of you!  Recently went on a canoe ride, 11 miles worth, calm waters, with expensive photography equipment on board.

Felt the “log roll” when we traveled over a resting manatee as an adrenalin rush launched us forward STAT into “manate rapids”. Thankful there was a fair distribution of weight so we didn’t capsize in the murky St Lucie River waterway! Every stroke, every eyescape was filling the dry spaces. Was on the direct route to serenity, sequestered nooks of replenishment.

The power of love, was unveiling as it should, and to think this knowing was always right under my nose, in my knor, stuck within the mystery of the triquetra.

I think Bob Marley said it best about how love balances. Read his quote out loud to my friend and he replied; “honey that’s us, that’s how I feel about you” and with tearful eyes I smiled.  He then asked; “Can we be friends forever?” ….

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”  ― Bob Marley

Yes, let us honor, the sense of balance within us. Let us awaken to the beauty of the tree of Life, hidden within us All…let us not abuse in word and deed….amen

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Oddity

People seldom do what they believe in. They do what is convenient, then repent.          Bob Dylan

Happened innocently enough, in my new home, the slider doors entering the back yard, only exit, were almost impossible to open. So to Craigslist I went and found the man for the job. In a nano second he explained the difficulty; “Fused wheels, this door is dragging, need to totally replace them” and then his promise; “You will be able to close this door with one finger when I am done”.

Light suddenly streamed in as he was kneeling while expressing his diagnosis, and I didn’t hear a thing. Captivated on emerald eyes, all I could do was smile.  Yup this happenstance encounter would change my perception, forever.

A delicate knowing was caressing my senses and found myself whispering a prayer. Shortly after my daughter called and said; “Mom it’s time to move on”,  so maybe it wasn’t just a coincidence that this gentleman kept coming to my mind. 

And then a friends’s encouraging word came to me again ; “Brenda give the big guy a chance”, got the courage and thumbed a text; “come to breakfast with me, a lil  hole in the wall“, and this time he navigated right to my doorstep. Well not immediately, his first response was; “My life is uncomplicated and I want to keep it that way”  His thoughts sounded familiar. 

What happened next was, well, precious. He was so like no other. Could this be real, these feelings like no comparison? Was it because I was so fractured and the light wasn’t able to be centrifuged? And I breathed. Barely.    

Sharing about his shame, his losses in his life, and the joy of reinventing!  Yes I was seeing the reflection of ME as he surfed right into my heart.

When you’re living with brokenness, you doubt you will ever feel again. Gone gone gone are all the dreams, insulated in self doubt you dare to contemplate, yes, hope for a new day while closing the door to yesterday’s disillusionment.

Now the waves are crashing over you, true baptism is here. You shudder in disbelief and rapidly repent, streams of hot tears flood from you like a shower from heaven. And you utter; “Father forgive me for doubting you” The waves of love were crashing over me and unequivocally, deep was calling to deep.

A new chapter in my life and I believe it will be the best ever!

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