Another wave of change roles in as a new virus surfaces and wipes out many with weakened immune systems. Seen this over and over again in my field however this month it appears media has encapsulated the herd mentality. Embarrassed witnessing some of the antics knowing these are my neighbors. Ahh thank GOD for the refreshings! close up waveThe beach here in Stuart Florida reflected pristine blues and heard visitors even escaliming; “It looks like the Bahamas“.  Yup sure does since they haven’t been dumping Okeechobee waters into it!

its been craycray at work and around FB. Many are uptight about treatment of this next virus and it scares me a bit too after reading Silent Spring by Rachel Carson. She reiterated what I knew but with more detailed annoyances of how the pollution is stored in my own liver.  These thoughts rattle through my head when a murder of crows fly by. Looking up see how they not only announce the presence of a lurking gator below, but that also of a visiting juvenile eagle, woodpecker and great blue heron.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

It’s a blessing to have nature so exquisitely available. Breathing in sounds deadens my frustrations. Having my finger on the trigger lets me upload a teaching and a knowing, this too shall pass.  

The air was full of the sounds of nature; insects, a murder of crows, ripples of water, snakes slithering and now anhinga surfacing as a writing fish speared clear through it’s gut! Indeed my camera card would be full soon. Above in the trees I see Mr Osprey consuming his latest catch. A day full of teachings, a day full of refreshing.

Was reading an article totally agree with, Human emotion literally shapes the world around us. Not just our perception of the world, but reality itself. This has been a reality of mine since childhood when reading a scripture; what you fear will come upon you. It was many years ago and back then my fear was abandonment. And it did come upon me; not once but twice yup, learned the lesson and this sweet palm warbler caught the bug!!!

Life teaches, we attract what we need to learn and you know what?  ALL I CAN DO IS SMILE!!!!!!  The trek was awesome, the teaching refreshing and life is so so GOOD for us! My man who loves me is so attentive to all my needs, omgoodness meets my needs BETTER than my spouses and I sit hear tearing up, wow, so so blessed.

For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me. Job 3:25

It’s been an amazing month, amazing realization I AM LOVED, not just from my fiance, my family, my co workers but from GOD HIMSELF which is the really what totally makes sense in this life, after all He did create me! 🙂 talk about a love story!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

And you say you want a New Vagina?

It’s true, this world is exposing all our wanton desires and novelties from labia swell spots to delicate labiaplasty surgery. Honestly been out of the loop, which means, minding my own business busy with work and nature jaunts however accepted an invitation to meld with some local friends and was blown away. Subject of new beginnings and some of these folks actually deciding to fix their clits.  #($&@_* REALLY???  Ok so talks of childbirth changing down under along with gravity gave us the giggles, however never considered reflections as being a priority for future consummations.  Sigh….

Iguana we rescued during a Florida chill, he fell out of a tree looking dead, 3 hrs later he thawed out LOL!

Believe we all have choices and mine is to escape into nature, receive my teachings and embrace the natural. Really what difference does it make to have the most intact vagina, porn star special look when inside all you are is a lost lonely girl, desperate for love. Keys to innocence have been lost, and adjustments in the flesh never sustain or bring lasting change or acceptance of ones self. Actually it’s just the opposite, accepting all of your flaws, all of you, weakness and strength you let go of wants, smile and think, pain free is a great state of mind, heart and soul. Causing no pain you live free.

This owl was calling out to his mate and flew over my head as he ventured over to her side of the tree. It was a suddenly captured!

Smile as I upload my nature shots, what a gift walking in Nature IS! You get out of your head, hopefully as you walk in the woods, walk along the shore. Of course this is a choice too, turn off all technological devices. Sometimes while walking along the boardwalks I hear cell phones ringing, yes it takes a personal choice to tune out. How else will you hear? How else will you allow wisdom to teach, HEAL!

In a society that has you counting money, pounds, calories and steps, be a rebel and count your blessings instead.Lisa Heckman

This year have been smiling a lot lately. One thing about life, you learn a valuable truth, one attracts what they need for growth and to say I have been blown away is such an understatement.  Why it took so long is beyond me, however finding love lets you finally rest in the knowing and just BEING!

this lil guy was spied deep in the woods of Canada where my youngest lives. So blessed when I get to visit her, precious family

Had to make some hard choices, in the process recognized the only one who can heal my heart is the one who Created it. Grasping the key of innocence one emerges undefiled. When you arise with a prayer to Our Creator He truly lifts you up, hides you under His wing, takes you to understanding not of this world and sanity returns. Usually comes with communication from my children. Below was a morning greeting which totally made me spew my coffee. My daughter adopted a calf, who now thinks he’s a dog.

No need for a new vagina, no need to erase lines, maybe cut them, yes cut off lines of communication that are self servers, as the most important stakeholder is you! Don’t die because of obstacles, stuck within the constraints of your “title”, educate yourself, be inspired, stay respectful, keep active physically, WALK IN NATURE let her creatures teach you, knowing you are loved, now just love her back. What you will get in return is yes, knowledge, more importantly JOY and maybe even return to innocence.

As my daughters giggle and spoken words reveal the all of it, yes, let’s learn to live together, play together!

Father thank you for my family, my precious friends and pets. In this season, blending with a new work family, new home, new landscapes let me never forget the reason for this season, the reason for every breath, to Honor You oh Creator of Heaven and Earth, below and above, within and without, knowing You indeed work Your miracles of divine despite our wanton ways. Awaken us to Your love, Your vitality, Your vision for each and every one! Despite the rejection, despite the abuse, despite the illnesses, the darkness, yes, You will indeed arise in every soul, the breath of HOPE igniting the vision of what can be. For how can we fail with Yeshua? May His precious blood heal every wound. May every soul reading this lay down all hurts, ignoring the pain, rise and heal and embrace innocence once again. Raising our glasses (yes do this right now, whatever glass of whatever you have in front of you ) we TOAST Selah Shalom and Amen

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Generation Alpha…

Hard to believe 2020 is here, feel very much alive and not so different as when speculating as a teenager in my parents home. Smiling here realizing I call it “parents home”,  not our “childhood home“, so suppose my projection has indeed changed.  A defence mechanism arises as I write, almost subliminally, as my ego defends itself against qualities by denying their existence. Not a good way to start the new decade!

Sitting here on a little stool in my newly made office I smile, one thing is true, content with my thoughts like a seagull in water. There is food to be found, tides come and go and knowing how to fly certainly helps. Flight or fight has always been a known concept of adaptation, yet hyperarousal analyzed reveals some interesting facts, bottom line, stress can kill even the brilliant, wing size isn’t the key, knowing how to fly is.

Every moment when in the midst of nature, listening to her sounds of existing; life all around me, just have to pinch myself and say THANK YOU. Thank you for all the stretching, the embracing and letting the miraculous work her grace to completion. Just breathe and ride in the waves of change. 2020 perfect our vision!

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

It happens..

We get hit……..waves crash over us and lo and behold we find out we are still alive. You look around and many are beached but in a good way! YES we are survivors!

What a month this was. Many of my patients plagued by flu and many succumbed. Makes me see how fleeting our life is, in a twinkling of an eye we can be gone and personally have seen it over and over again. It resolidifies a basic truth, we are all terminal and we are here for a purpose.

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace 1 Peter 4:10

We love investigating the ocean on our days off, every day a new sight, new teachings, erosion yes, however fundamental truths always to be seen.  Like the feed frenzy of the gulls, or waddling pelican, so clumsy out of the water, yet just watch him dive kamikaze style and get that fish every time! And of course nothing like our visiting Osprey, fish eaters only and expert divers! They too mate for life, studying ornithology, there is nothing in which the birds differ more from man than the way in which they can build and yet leave a landscape as it was before. -sigh-

Oh just love watching the locals on the water, windsurfing and the like. It’s a gift to harness the wind, takes diligence and practice to be good at it and of course the champions are the ones who have never give up, know how to get up and brush off, clean up with EVERY aspect in every day no matter what one may have to embrace. Eventually you find this amazing gift called; contentment. Maybe this is what is meant by the saying; pure joy.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

One of my dearest friends surprised me with a “forever” promise.  Honestly didn’t think I would be embracing a hope like this again. Yet as I write this can’t help but smile, life certainly has a way of creating some interesting adventures. So like the gentleman riding his three wheeled bicycle in the back of this picture, yup, with that little extra support, we continue on the path and discover there a no wrong turns, only paths we were meant to tread and this time, without dread. Finally we grow to understand, God’s got this, every breath of it, after all, we are His.

Faith makes all things possible, hope makes it all work, and love makes you win at everything life has coming your way. May we never lose sight of reason for the season, the knowing, it’s all going according to a great plan. Love on my friends……love on.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Defoliation in Nature

Thinking about why I shave and crack myself up. Unshaven people kinda look unkempt, nothing personal just like the feel of soft unstubbly skin, even on a mans face.  Shaving started in Ancient Egyptian time, they shaved their heads and bodies because they highly valued hairlessness and of course back then, lice and staying clean was more of a challenge.

Remember a time in my youth visiting the Cape in Massachusetts, seeing unshaven legs and underarm pits on a female and was astounded! I also noticed I was the only one wearing a bra!!  Growing up in the country, traveling to other states or even countries was not the norm. This one escapade made me smile, yes a refreshing exposure.  That day realized, a perspective different and found it fascinating, just like my jaunts in Nature. Nature well she shelters herself and cleans up nicely.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

This month my friend and I strolled through one of our local parks and started admiring the branch system of the Cypress trees. Cypress trees are the only trees with knees. The knees are actually woody growths that sprout around the tree at a distance of several feet. The phenomenon occurs when these trees stand in swampy conditions which give  supplement oxygen supplies to these submerged root systems. These trees are so majestic, offering shelter to the Ospreys, they’ve become one of my favorite trees in Florida.


Today found an Ibis flock marching around the base of those trees, and it was great to have them pass by without any fear. Got some great snapshots of the Glossy and immature species. Even spied one with her Gular sac, pretty female ready for mating!

According to Josephus, Moses used the Ibis to help him defeat the Ethiopians.  No doubt these precious birds walked the same way amongst the Egyptian waterways! History also reveals the Ibis was sadly used sacrificially in the town of Hermopolis! In the seraphim at Saqqara, lower Egypt, archaeologists found the mummies of one and a half million ibises and falcons!  Thankful that this practice has died.

Spending time with Mother Nature always calms my spirit. As I get older more and more of my precious friends and family leave this planet. Even my patients are younger than me, and it’s devastating to watch young men and women give up in this life.  Eating has become their comfort and with the lack of care and love for their core, their insides break down.

Intense pain, formally called takotsubo cardiomyopathy, but also referred to as apical ballooning syndrome or acute stress cardiomyopathy, is a temporary heart condition often caused by intense, stressful situations, such as the loss of a loved one, hence why many say they are suffering from a ‘broken heart.’ Patients who are dealing with broken heart syndrome may experience sudden chest pain and believe they are suffering a heart attack due to the severity of the pain.  Some experts believe the condition can even be caused by the heart’s reaction to a surge of stress hormones. Thankfully, this condition is treatable and will usually reverse itself in a matter of days or weeks. Our temple, our precious core, is so miraculous. If we will just listen to that small voice within, be patient, FORGIVE our very own weakness, the miraculous will take over and make us whole.  Then we will attract exactly what we need to complete this journey called, living. Life will break you, however within the brokenness is the miraculous. There you face your bitterness and finally set yourself free.

This month has been difficult for me, a dear friend asking for prayer (and when one does ask I DO PRAY) and what was heard, and shared, was rejected.  Sometimes it’s more difficult, yet so important to stay kind, offering comfort and not demanding one faces the truth, for it was too much for her to bare, how dare her husband give up and decide to leave this plane, (leave her) . Here she was demanding God bring him back, yet the most miraculous gift Jehovah gave us was CHOICE, and Our Creator will not answer our selfish prayer, especially when the other soul says; thank you for taking me home, thank you for letting me finally rest. 

Who are we to judge when someone’s work is done?

Father God, awesome miraculous Creator, You love us so, You shelter us EVERY DAY, every moment, every BREATH is seen by You. My beloved, thank you for letting me see You in Nature. Your creations are so darn CUTE. Not only are they so intelligent and so one with You, they so put me to shame. Thank you for allowing me to see You in their caring for each other, in their very presence You are there. Thank you Father for letting me see and feel the pain, so miniscule, witnessing Your Great Love, over and over again. Thank You for letting me understand the importance, the sacredness of staying kind. Your Truth, Your Agape, is present within the soil of our DNA, for Your Precious Son paid the price so many years ago. Knowing sometimes is painful, ignorance kills as one witnesses apathy’s reign. It’s such a lonely place as solitude is full of yearning You only can fulfill. Father oh Holy Oneness, touch these ones who long for their first love, letting go, they may embrace You once again, for it was You all along, our knowing was conceived by You! On earth as it is IN YOU. May we all truly live as You destined us long ago. Amen

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Hotober and What I Love

LOVE how the locals deal with the heat, riptides and undisciplined churn of the ocean. Smiling thinking how this local, moi~, gets excited knowing it’s time to film the; mavericks of the water and with the wind kicking up definitely meant kite and wind surfers alike!

It’s always refreshing to escape to the ocean, get into the rhythm of the waves especially after a grueling work week. Managing time and energy with the dying and suffering taps one’s strength. Always desire to be present, to offer comfort, as implementation of my scope of practice can initially debilitate hope, causing pain does. Letting go is difficult, especially in regards to end of life. Families making choices they emotionally aren’t ready to face, patience is a must and assimilating in Nature my drug.

At the beach, life is different. Time doesn’t move hour to hour but mood to moment. We live by the currents, plan by the tides and follow the sun

I understand the desire my dear friend has; sell everything and buy a sailboat.  He has experience on the water from his youth, sailor and surfer, his heart hasn’t forgotten his first love.  Makes me reflect my own childhood, hours spent alone in the woods, back then there was no fear, no talk of child abductions or any kind of slavery. Only later, way later in life were the hidden skeletons revealed.

Spent my childhood in New Jersey, do remember a time faced with the horrid reality of prejudicism.  We resided in a prestigious area, and the list of famous people from there is nearly endless.  However, even with all the appearances of  health and wealth, a hidden disease process was looming.

Invited my neighbor to go swimming with me and the next day at school during gym, was not chosen to be on the bombardment team, (normally 1st choice) and later that week, excluded invitation to a birthday party.

Fourth grade was the year I grew up. It was the year I expressed disgust, anger and I suppose an indignant stance with my so called “white friends”, appalled as my parents attempted to explain what I was experiencing.

I was so thankful I had my dear friend Gina and deep down, even at this tender age was so thankful I wasn’t the one who caused her pain.  From that day on I was determined to be her best friend ever, well at least her best white friend ever. Before that day I hadn’t even recognized her skin color, just knew she could run faster than me and had the whitest teeth! However this was the day I was embarrassed to be a Caucasian.

Yes, and THIS is when one learns to ride waves of change. If not, then they get beached within sorrow and shame and long for six feet under. Buried dreams, hope is snuffed out for the cross roads offered seemingly no familiar destination, yet those who walk on the waters are a different breed, they know the secret.

THIS is why I will forever love visiting the shore line. This is where you can see how its done, meet kindred souls, touch freedom, breathe in hope !

This is what I see with the surfers of the sea, they reinvent themselves, harness up, whatever it takes to walk on the waters! Observing with admiration capture away gleaning bits and pieces of their talent, their desires totally manifested. Yup they were conquering their fears, yes, they were living in the moment with abandoned JOY! They knew the secret and for a moment, I too witnessed and felt innocence revisited as he harnessed the wind.

One daily receives refreshing as we spend time blending thoughts, weeding out base judgments and face our fears. Love this abiding on our special reefs, and think wow, maybe one day soon launch on the high seas together: wing on wing. Until then will be content with these glimpses of heaven on earth.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Another Storm

Stressful month as a Cat 5 Hurricane came twirling towards our state, churning waters not even a surfer would tackle, made us reflect on natures fury. Clenched teeth we braced ourselves, each processing as we knew how.

The aftermath is still being tabulated, death toll rises in the Bahamas and America is contributing aide, the best to everyone’s ability. This is what I love about America, about the essence of the human race, the resurrection power latent within us all if we would just believe.

We investigated after the storm and saw the news teams doing the same. It was kinda funny seeing them out there with their paid autonomy and expensive equipment. And here we were, curious too, sea spray on my face, witness the power and see how nature was coping. Two words will help you cope when you run low on hope: accept and trust. Especially when you view the river banks looking like an ocean!

Everything was dank, and the reference is not towards weed. A clammy moist atmosphere, dark clouds and the waters reflection said it all; messy.  Must admit couldn’t help but enjoy the wind, as if it was blowing all refuse away, an unstoppable force indeed, much like love; invigorating. This month was going to be reveal the essence of ones character.

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure whether the storm is really over….When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in.  That’s what this storm’s all about”  –  Haruki Murakami

Observing the sea turtles who didn’t make it teared me up. The smell of death was evident and this was on such a small scale in regards to the Abaco’s  Yes, during these seasons we find giants of men rise to help. In my local town Errol Thurston is one such soul. In our own personal journeys we all come to a similar conclusion: that love, in the higher sense, is what we’re here to share. When we give we receive emotional and spiritual healing and even rebirth. In the light of the Full Moon this month couldn’t help but reflect on this.

“The moon does not fight. It attacks no one. It does not worry. It does not try to crush others. It keeps to its course, but by its very nature, it gently influences. What other body could pull an entire ocean from shore to shore? The moon is faithful to its nature and its power is never diminished.”  ― Deng Ming-Dao

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment