Invigorating

Trekked around the Wetlands today, crisp weather in Florida. Sweet pair of white winged terns started fishing in front of me. WOW are they persistent. One must be if they want to survive in nature

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Even later I spied these two attempting to mate, though I don’t think she was in the mood to receive, looked like she just wanted to eat and was chirping out orders

Today there would be no leisurely driving, had to work for these shots. Roads had pot holes from the rain so I was a bit edgy knowing there was no metal between me and the snakes or gators. Cautiously crept in the grassy knoll areas.

They looked humongous, around 12 ft of slate absorbing the suns rays. One looked as if he was smiling, good, they weren’t hungry!

One spot seemed safe enough so after inspecting for fire ant mounds safely sat my butt down. First visitor was a fly by! Eagle !! He was so high up but his white tail gave him away. Was hoping he would come down for a bite however after upload see why he hadn’t, lunch was in his talons.

Then a dancing Snowy Egret skimmed on pass and a Tri Color heron attempted to walk on the waters too! Reflections were pristine and breathing in their beauty soothing.

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Delicate balance indeed and then the wood sinks, he looked a bit confused but meandered for a bit which was great! Snapped some more shots

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It didn’t take long for him to fly off. Think he felt to uncomfortable just standing in the middle, though secure, maybe instincts made him fly away from the unfamiliar, off the hidden branch.

The forceps of our minds are clumsy things and crush the truth a little in the course of taking hold of it. ~H.G. Wells

A couple pass me and converse, they’re from Missouri and were sharing about their visiting Eagles. Eagles, yes the proud display of our Nation. I use to say “Great Nation”. This present election saddens me. Maybe personal living has skewed my discernment. However know actions speak louder then words and I am sad. Just don’t like any of them so I am not going to vote.

Did you know Eagles steal??  Yup it’s true. They steal from the Osprey and even eat dead things. Not the Hawks tho, they announce their presence and eat only fresh meat. A red shouldered hawk delighted me with her presence. She was magnificent.

I sat right where she was in the tree, just calling out. Wondered what she was thinking. During this time a flock of Robins descended in the thick brush and started feasting on the berry’s. Such chatter and excitement. They must have been famished!

Love this spot, it’s full of life and the cool breeze makes my cheeks taught. Red shoulder hawk looks right through me, I know she can see me, I feel her presence and she is a good 400 meters away. She knows I am no threat.

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Look at the situation from a different perspective” HAWK

Only solace are times like this, reading, painting and of course contemplating the Holy Word. I agree, don’t think we are meant to be alone. Today I miss my husbands presence. Miss his hugs, miss our unions, miss his LAUGHTER. My CAG Yoshi laughs like him in the morning, sighs like him too. Absence is a perception.

Life sometimes doesn’t make sense and yet, look how simply they live. NATURE!!! Nature of man is complex because we make it this way.

Had one of my dearest friends recently state; “The only happiness you have or thing you get excited over are BIRDS ….you’ve extracted yourself from humans…yes you take beautiful photos of them but you can’t relax breathe and embrace human kindness or reality. Yet you run to wetlands beaches and woods and smile laugh and get the most pleasure from that.”

It kind of floored me. Guess I have changed and cock my head thinking, I relax in nature, embrace it’s kindness. Sure maybe would like to break bread with friends, definitely like nature’s fermented grapes and coffee beans in hot water!

Suppose I need to work on this, yet this picture she captured of me well, in all the world, this is where I am most at home, observing their nature, not the nature of man. Maybe it’s because I have been caring for the ill in the work arena since I was 16? My heart is tired.

Medicine is like drywall. Fake walls. Seeds a sense of physiological normalcy however without it you’re left with your true self. Your body can not lie, after all it’s where the demons hide.

Well you know what the cure for all of that is right? TOTAL IMMERSION!!! Lets go FISHING! I think I know how it’s done now, ready to take the plunge? Looks like FUN!

“Fishing provides that connection with the whole living world. It gives you the opportunity of being totally immersed, turning back into yourself in a good way. A form of meditation, some form of communion with levels of yourself that are deeper than the ordinary self.” – Ted Hughes

 

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Celebrate what is Right

Well we can all celebrate what is right once we get out of our ego, because celebrating truth will castrate you. One must face it and then not forget the reality of what is seen.

Standing for truth can be this way, absolutely walking on the waters with sharks all around you trust the unseen, or else be swallowed up. Rather be free like this lil bumble bee, taking flight and seeking out the fragrant places.

Went to visit one of my favorite ponds and was really taken aback by the lack of wildlife, maybe it was too humid and they were all hidden in the foliage.  Trekking around the bend pausing on an embankment was this bird in the distance.  So I focused on him and then lo and behold he was right over my head; AN OSPREY and now there were FOUR! I was in my glory! They were SO CLOSE!! Thank you God for all the “suddenly’s” !!  Yes all of them as they were allowed for “my good”, making clear destiny’s path.

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They are amazing hunters, keen eyesight as they hover and forcefully plunge! What an honor to watch them and after the upload see it was a family of Osprey’s!  This was revealed by the noticeable differentiation of eye colors.  Adult ospreys have dynamic yellow eyes, however when they hatch, dark blue eyes and after a few days starts to change to a dark orange brown color and remains like this until their migration to Africa.

Note mama’s eyes here

Here is her Juvenile

Its amazing to be plunged into a world of “presence”…the realities of visual yes, however words can’t describe but my lens can capture the action. It’s like hearing the pounding rain, or seeing the delicate flight of a butterfly or the silent setting of the sun. A rush of love which is totally unrelated to any medication or any human actually, well maybe an orgasm. A union of two souls fusing energies.

A communication right to your heart, illuminating your soul. A whisper which says You are my love” and in that rush you see dying is not a scary place at all. It’s the stench of not living which magnifies all that is wrong with this world…yes all that is wrong within me.

So as I circled the wetlands it was incredible as always. Female Northern Harrier so alert as she excavated her landscape. Could have watched her all day, her and the amazing water birds concentrating for their meals. This in itself is a message well worth receiving, we must stay focused in this life. Sometimes we miss our target, just try again!

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My personal life has been one of chaos these last few months. Lost my spouse of 15 years, after his mental breakdown he emerged with no memory of any sweetness towards me, nope only bitterness. Tears roll frequently off my cheek onto my blouse, skin…my skin is lonely for his embrace. I will miss him.

My brother Eric said; Get out in nature, get away from the sociopaths and narcissist’s as they are devoid of empathy, “they pretend emotions” be free from their manipulation. He was so right. As I contemplate his words, on a dirt road, I see him.

What a GLORIOUS SURPRISE. Jumping out of the car, avoiding fire ant mounds and hopefully snakes hidden in the grass, zoom in and capture his beauty.

He’s just looking right through me like saying “What do you want”? Want a picture of you precious wisdom raptor, so I can share with all my friends your beauty. And………he grants my wish.

And another day ends…with the hope of promise I close my eyes. So much beauty I saw this day, wondrous nature.  As the sun sets wishing my beloved was by my side, knowing I will go home to an empty bed  a strange place without my man. I loved him so…. and now must adjust to a new life, a new place. Wasn’t happy about this celibate state however if it meant being rid of all pretense, all facade, all emotional vamps, well there ya go, hug my pillow I will, knowing in my weakness I was being formed strong. Yes, this unintended aloneness, if it meant birthing who I was destined to be, let me wake NEW and never allow myself to be devaluated again, especially by me.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” Philippians 4:8

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Butterfly Garden

Our daughter called, my lil passion flower; “Mom let me take you to our favorite Nursery” and there she graciously showed me their haven, where the secrets of how to create a thriving garden was conceived.

We entered into a screened area; reminded me a bit of Butterfly World, so breathtaking and larvae EVERYWHERE, learned about milk weeds and passion flowers and my very first vine was purchased. Joyfully chose seeds and pretty potted flowers… thinking “If I was a butterfly …. “  with delight the soil was tilled my very own garden was planted and lo and behold the bees, butterfly’s and critters came!

It’s so peaceful watching nature show up while watering. During one of these encounters spied this dangling brown thing. The day earlier a caterpillar so thoughts of having our very own personal pupae enthralled me! 

Posted it on my Face Book Wall and thought well I had at least 14 days before it hatched as it was newly discovered. This is when I was educated “14 days? That butterfly is coming out in the next 24 hours!” Well kept a dedicated vigil and the next morning saw the lil thing was indented and thought maybe a lizard bit it.

Again educated with the most dreadful news; “Brenda I am so sorry but everyone in the group agrees that its already dead. There is some debate on whether or not you should put it in the freezer which will kill OE spores”   WTH? OE SPORES!!! I was freaking.  Recently enthralled learning about the male vs female butterfly, male have the black spots, the visitor below in my garden was female.

and NOW THIS!  A disease called Ophryocystis elektroscirrha,  has been affecting Monarchs since 1960, this spore disease discovered in Florida of all places. A protozoan parasite that has infected every Monarch population to date including North America, Australia, Cuba, Central and South America and Hawaii!!

The education of this brought me to tears!  Why?  1. I was viewing this discovery symbolically NEW BIRTH relating to my personal life. 2. This infection maligns normal growth, disfigures and kills. There would be no new birth now.  With tears I laid this dead lil pupae to rest. My FB family encouraged me saying; I’m so sorry. I was really excited for you. Plant some milkweed if you haven’t already and I promise you will have more next year!” 

Today while watering, viewed little visitors however still felt pang in my heart for the one who never emerged. Thinking about spore infection in nature and in man. Thoughts take root and give birth to actions. And this protozoan invasion is so unfair, little guy didn’t have a chance. He ate, digested and even had energy to make his chrysalis yet was wrapped up with this dark intruder and was consumed to death. There was nothing I could do to help, except mourn for what could have been.

“An unresolved issue will be like a cancer with the potential to spread into other areas of your relationship, eroding the joy, lightness, love and beauty”–Joyce Vissell

Father, oh Creator of our souls, Oh Holy One who graces mercy towards the fallen. Clinging, as tears slice flesh, knowing you love deeper, release “needing to know why” so to trust you with the unseen,  knowing you’ve got this……..every one of us, submitted to Your Holy Will, now and forever more..of YOU…………amen. 

Addendum:YOU CAN NOT MAKE THIS STUFF UP …CAME OUTSIDE AFTER WRITING THIS BLOG .. after writing this prayer. Listening to Adele’s new song HELLO go to put my feet up talking to my roommate AND I SEE THIS YES I AM CRYING  A POP OF GREEN can you find the new Chrysalis?

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And for two weeks the winds and rain came a d then the temperature dropped leaving water droplets on “Rex”

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Spoke with “Rex” every day and even visitors would hear about his story. As the vigil continued, around 12 days, we found we were all growing quite attached wondering if he was going to make it!?!

Today 11/28/2015 with coffee in hand went to greet my lil buddy and lo and behold emergence was a success!!!!!!!   I wasn’t allowed to see it …sigh….however THRILLED he made it!

 

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“Life is about change. Sometimes it’s painful, sometimes it’s beautiful, but most of the time it’s both”  Lana Lang

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What energy are you letting into your life?

TRUE STORY

Watching DEAD FILES with my daughter about para normal activity and the affects thereof. This one episode was quite revealing, reminds me of a scripture in Ephesians;

The fight is not against flesh and blood but SPIRITS and PRINCIPALITIES

A Fight to the Finish
“And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we’ll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.”  Ephesians 6:12 The Message (MSG)

In this one episode of the DEAD FILES it explained strange lights that could be seen at times in the dark room, streams of light. The para normal expert explained how this “energy” was being transferred in a negative way, uncontrolled energy subconsciously emitted creating a “poltergeist”. This  “creation” was causing great harm to the inhabitants of this home.

Our landlady shared about streams of light occurring during one of her classes. She showed me pictures she caught with her camera and has them adorned on her wall on Facebook. At first I too thought they were beautiful. However after my personal experience which I will get into later, and viewing this particular episode of the”Dead Files”, hairs stood on end! It was like receiving an electric shock. We emit energy; LIGHT! Some peoples “light” is not from God.

MY STORY

We have been renting a home from a woman who practices the arts of healing in a form called Qigong (chi gong) A soul who is like a sister to me. We shared food, wine and our life stories for over a year. One day she turned to me and said; “You are a very strong witch” 

Those of you who know me, dad a once deacon in the Catholic Church, know I was raised like a “Pastors Kid”. Even my caption in my graduating yearbook stated; “My eyes shall always be raised to God Enthroned Above” and of course we can profess to be something however its our ACTIONS which reveal the heart of the matter…the real you. Eventually all masks fall off and our real self is exposed.

Zip to now and well let me share my story.

I have been happily married to an amazing man. A trooper my troubadour, 15 yrs blessed to be with him. We had many ups and downs, buried his parents, my dad, saw me through many changes with my family, saw him through changes with his and we loved strong and steady. He is a  Viet Nam survivor

Found this quaint place near the ocean, rented from this struggling artist. She adored having us there, loved our laughter she said, loved my husbands talents; carpenter. She would take money off the rent and he would re do her pipes, switching all to plastic. Re furbish her roof, re do her AC ducts so the house would vent properly, put in doors for her and even made a walk in closet. We all became very close.

During this time I learned more about her life, the abuse she sustained and I do believe in my heart she was wretchedly abused. Her explaining her lover, pornographic ways of seduction of his followers and literally, like her, these weak willed women would leave their husbands and give great sums of money to him.

And she calls me a WHITE WITCH because “You are so strong” I had no idea what she was talking about until one day I saw it, like a big black moving shadow form move across the room whenever I entered this room in the house it would leave AND I would always be so cold. She would text me (the AC unit control was on my side of the duplex home) “could you please put the AC down”,  even my husband said “Honey you keep it so hot in here” but i wasn’t hot i was FREEZING. I had to go outside to get warm

Now when seeing this form I would think it was my imagination..my eyes failing not thinking “evil”…and then I found out the artist that lived there before me was asked to leave because he was “acting crazily”. Then the story of this other woman who also lived there COMMITTED SUICIDE ! The man prior to me had his dog uncontrollably crap everywhere and she asked him to leave and she told me the dog got amazingly better after they left, she was still friends with this said renter.

Ok maybe coincidence? Then she shared more about black magic spells, stealing karma’s and books about goddesses and this KALI God she was named after. She freaked when she said someone left a smiley face slashed with a knife on her property. It truly just looked like a ripped balloon that could have floated in from anywhere. The Smiley Face use to be a symbol she used in her practice, and her ex lover, who practiced the “black arts”, knew this. She was sooo FEARFUL literally quaking so I took the thing made it into a ball and threw it out. She shared about his power and I shared about the BLOOD OF THE LAMB the power in the Name of JESUS and taught her to pray and encouraged her to HAVE FAITH not DOUBT GODS LOVE FOR HER and she professed her love for Jesus, that day. Laying down beliefs of all false gods. Encouraged her to read scriptures  and let God know how much He loves her,  Let Him strengthen her….not man, books or tarot cards.

Well more episodes of fear emerged, more shadow sightings and then even my husband saw it with his own eyes, a car pulled up , a large black man got out of the passengers side and out popped a woman..walked down our private drive and pulled down her pants to pee on the property I KID YOU NOT, you couldn’t make this crap up. She also had this device in her hand and was pointing it towards the street when she was through voiding.

What did I do? Jumped up grabbed my camera and took her picture (we lived on an acre of land) This woman apologized saying she was “waiting for her boyfriend”  My landlord quickly filed a police report believing it was someone definitely trespassing.

Again she thanked me for my fearlessness and we all “loved on”. Yes this is the most difficult part to share. She states;

“You two are always so happy together, never thought I would want to marry again”

A year in a half planning to visit my daughter in Ontario, we own three fuzzy fluffy children; American Bulldog Freckles, Min Pin Mix Pickles and Yoshi my Congo African Grey and no one to care for them. Not our landlady as my dog Freckles HATED her, she would growl EVERY time she saw her. she would share; “Oh because you are the Alpha female she doesn’t like me” My husband would put our dog in submission and yell at her, and me I just couldn’t figure it out, Freckles hair would raise ontop of her canine body and she would seriously growl NEVER have i seen this reaction towards any one of my friends. And my landlady would look so fearful every time she saw her. I would hug her and say Freckles see its ok. Freckles didn’t trust her….now I know why. She DID see something we couldn’t.

Well my husband went to Ontario without me, he is retired and this was the plan, he would return then I would go up when he came back because of the pets. Well that is what I thought our decision was based on, I was wrong. It was after I left he professed his love to our landlady how he couldn’t get her out of his head and stated he was going to leave the premises “To get his head on straight” that he didn’t want to ruin my vacation (yes the one I am on now while writing this)

Well the landlady called me to tell me what my husband said to her a day later as she “Couldn’t sleep and had terrible headaches and knew she had to tell me”  She texted me this while I was waiting in a Toronto Airport.  “It’s repercussions from a penis whirlwind”  I thought. However as 24 hrs passed her demand for me to come home grew and her texting became more bizarre ; “I smell death, I think he killed Yoshi (My bird), come home now”  to He has lowered the air and its freeing over here, he is trying to freeze up the air conditioner and break it”. 

So here I am trying to absorb everything while my heart is breaking. I re read the texts she made to me and shake my head, it was total fear and extreme anger.  It was within this time frame I called my husband and confronted him with her story. He admitted that he had confessed to her that he did indeed have intense feelings towards her and was going to move out to “get his head on straight” Not wanting to hurt me he would wait till after my vacation to tell me this. (Ok, so their stories are lining up.)

But, then the crushing blow…

Over the course of two days tried my best to show forgiveness. Never have I’ve been spoken to so horribly by someone, let alone someone I called friend.

In the background, my husband now feeling he lost everything, started to break down.

It wasn’t 24 hours later when he called the police stating “I hear voices that are telling me to kill myself” and he was Baker Acted and put away in a Psych Hospital for 2 weeks.

You can NOT make this crap up!

Through intense treatment my husband came to terms with his fragile state. During this whole emotional whirlwind she evicted us.

She literally said the reason she was being so horrible to me is because I confronted my husband and didn’t keep it a secret. What woman wouldn’t confront their husband? My life was falling apart.

Understandably if you think you are being stalked by a crazed renters husband much of this could be true. Certainly this must have been her focus.

Yes we were close, she shared her thoughts like a sister with me……..and unfortunately to my husband as well.

Her last text was “I’m moving on girlfriend” “You are unreal” and she deleted me from her life. Ask my family, her rantings were sadly a narcissistic nature. As I reflect now totally understand her fear, and a scripture comes to mind; “What you fear will come upon you”

Husband was released to my daughter’s care and preceded to share with me the still very grave feelings he has for her. It was heartbreaking to hear. His anger and rage was focused one me.

“FORGIVE THEM FATHER FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO” and Resurrection power came. Now it’s time for us to dust off the fall out and walk on

Is Qi Gong safe?  What energy are you letting into your life?  Just like the family in the dead files, they too thought they were living a normal life until the attacks came. I now believe what happened was negative energy thrown at my precious sister’s life. All so to dismantle “LOVE  and Security”.

Not blind to the works of darkness, I discern the intentions of  the curse thrown at my landlord and how it affected the whole “house”;    (our souls)

My landlady, my husband and me, and even her ex lover and teacher. He was definitely revealed. It is written; “What is hidden WILL be brought to light”.

His knowledge of Voodoo and witchcraft will have no more affect on my precious sister in the Lord, for she now has the most powerful weapon of warfare, NO DOUBT. She knows she is in Christ Jesus.

No matter what curse is thrown at us GODS GRACE IS ALWAYS PRESENT we just need to look in the mirror and listen to that still small voice of our conscious, it’s where God hides within our purified DNA.

So my friends remember and I reiterate;  “The clinical consequences of inappropriate use of this technique has been described as the “Qigong deviation syndrome”, which has become a diagnostic term “now used widely in China” and is associated with a range of somatic and psychological disturbances. The commonest somatic symptoms include headaches, insomnia and discomfort caused by abdominal distension, while common psychological symptoms include anxiety, agitation and depression. Extreme psychological symptoms can include uncontrollable behaviors, psychosis and suicide.”

So if you are seeking for truth and you may even hear teachers speak of truth, don’t be so eager to practice with them, DISCERN THEIR FRUITS. See their relationships for what they are and just what “light” they are using. Especially when they are fleecing weak willed women to build up their classes, their “Healing Practice” they are the wolves in sheep clothing!

WOMEN WE NEED TO STAND FOR TRUTH remembering and upholding;

 

Discern what cloud you are walking on, yes the people you are associating with!

Father forgive me, for my lack of understanding about my own heart and the hearts around me.

Heal us Yeshua, Jesus, only begotten son of Our Father, sacred Jehovah Creator of Heaven and Earth, having Your Will completed within us as we forgive those who have been unfaithful and let me not be tempted to do the same.  

Deliver us from all evil Amen

Addendum: One month and what has happened?  Healing for my heart and re-dedication to the Heart of Jesus, renewing of my mind.  My husbands ex wife has died suddenly, only 62, which has sent a shock wave through the family. A wake up call indeed.

Received a call from landlord, heartfelt apology with forgiveness granted. We are all so flawed, so needing God’s redemptive grace.

This has been the most difficult season of growth in my life so far. During seasons like this you discover how much we need one another. We are all so fragile, fragmented and precious. Love on my friends, forgive…and LOVE ON, remembering EVERYTHING which happens in our life is an invitation for a deeper, richer walk with our Creator.

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I miss my husband and the love and hope we shared.

THANK YOU for those reaching out with sound truth and love.

May God’s will be done is my only breath.

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Eat Me

“After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.”– Oscar Wilde

Had a month off of work and tromped through the NY Catskills and trekked some in Forest Mills Ontario. To say it was a trip of a lifetime would be totally nonfactual, to say it was life-changing would be close, more like life altering encapsulates the gist of it. Sites seen literally took my breath away, rock walls with trickling water from fresh springs, large green leaves and hidden brooks with endless streams of refreshment. Land of Eden.

Met some gifted souls, loving souls who shared their abodes thinking this was like back in the day of the Apostles where one welcomes a stranger or friends and gives them the cloak off their back, “do unto others as you would have then do unto you” rings true yet again.

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During this trek while fueling up had a huge truck back into my rental car and bashed in the front end pretty good. Had insurance and really no one was harmed, it was more of a nuisance. Saw the fear and dismay on the elder who did the damage and his response to me was; “Never had this happen to me before”. While in the midst of trauma we always tend to focus on ourselves don’t we? I too never had this happen to me yet it’s my nature to put myself into the others shoes. Maybe it’s more my spiritual training, it was then I reached out to him and introduced myself and we found common ground. We departed cordially. As I was discussing the whole incident with my friend remember saying; “Everything which occurs is for our benefit, this is probably a heads up for me” it was more a “hearts up” as a text which I received in a Toronto airport would change my life forever.

This blog was started years ago with my heart felt desire to share the beauty I see in life, not my personal pain. Maybe it’s pain that gets me out and about in Nature, wash away negativity, so with that being said, I rest my personal heartache and groans for Heavens ears.  And of course my closest friends and family, after all “forsake not the gathering together” as that will make a heart implode.

Today had a friend write; “Pray God deal with (them) according to His Loving Kindness…” “and thank Him for the answer”  and further stated…”Hand your pain totally to God and God will act on your behalf…..”  his statement floored me.  I didn’t want kindness, I wanted to personally knock some teeth out. I wanted karma, wanted it now. I was angry, hurt, shocked and appalled in one big breath. Exhalation would not be pretty.

Left with my own ugliness I chose to bathe. See I was trapped in my head and my heart was becoming harder by the minute. So I poured myself a glass of my favorite wine in my favorite glass, filled the tub with hot water and Epson salts and my favorite oils and had a good cry.  Hadn’t let myself hear my own heart. Didn’t dare let my pain out until then. I was finally alone…so I could. So important to allow those portals of healing to open. Be kind to yourself, for how else can one love unconditionally?

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“Highly sensitive people are too often perceived as weaklings or damaged goods. To feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness, it is the trademark of the truly alive and compassionate. It is not the empath who is broken, it is society that has become dysfunctional and emotionally disabled. There is no shame in expressing your authentic feelings. Those who are at times described as being a ‘hot mess’ or having ‘too many issues’ are the very fabric of what keeps the dream alive for a more caring, humane world. Never be ashamed to let your tears shine a light in this world.”  – Anthon St Maarten

Let your light shine, hear that statement now and again.  Everyone carries truth, some have a very sharp sword of delivery. You are blessed if you have a friend who can slay your ego. Doubly so if you heed their words.  And then their are some who have always been jealous of your life and comments are like in the days of Job. Their reasoning is a syllogism. It’s best to deliver yourself from their presence. Again it’s a choice, God’s gift to us. The gift which makes us above the Angels, talk about mind-blowing.  Power indeed.

How do we know whether we are following God’s ways all the time? ”   I think this man summed it up well..

So many examples of love and to think we have someone who paid the price already, Jesus, Yeshua…King of Kings and Lord of Lords…so why do we flounder?  WHY? Because we get in the way. Love on my friends, love on.

I’m hungry now :)

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Platforms of Love

Today basking in the knowing, the sense of belonging

Ever been fired from a job?
from a marriage?

Divorce rips a heart in two
rejection castrates
gluttony fulfills the bully’s and sociopaths for a season
until they target another

and the cycle of hurting people hurt people..continues

you either hemorrhage
or let time heal
Living the innocence of new beginnings~

Someone asked me; “How do you know what you are going to write about?”  The question made me smile.

Remember when I belonged to a neat club on Myspace which evolved into a Facebook blogging community. Met some incredible authors there, miss them and the assignments. It’s great to belong.

Nope, never know what I will write about it kinda evolves with images or pain I feel with attempts of making sense of it all. Take today for instance. Had one contact me about a friend who took their own life, something she wishes she could have interceded in some way.  And with her pain voiced a memory and a soul comes to mind.

He led a gay lifestyle and was so funny, quite a sense of humor however his immediate blood family rejected him. He was lonely. He asked if I would like to go golfing with him, didn’t know how to golf really. Golf was a sad word, it was a game my ex husband chose over being with me even on my first mother’s day. It was a game of escape. So to be a part of that wouldn’t be, until I heard of his demise. How I wish I said yes.  Loneliness swallowed him whole and I never got the chance of knowing him, or my ex for that matter.

Hind sight makes you think differently, they say it’s 20/20 vision

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When one loses respect for themselves, all types of shadows can drown their destiny. If you lose respect for your spouse the marriage is essentially over. Key is allowing the “reason for your being” shine. Seek no matter how painful how deliriously real please just BE YOU and maybe take a breath and count to 10 before you speak. That should do it…now smile and hover here for awhile.

Living in a great place right now. Example; foot long italian sub, pressed down into yummy is too big for me to consume, so I share with my neighbor. She is delighted and says “hold on” and what does she do, gives me a bottle of orange kangaroo and it’s a Merlot.

Giggling I bring it home to open and let it breathe, pour half a glass and walk it to her door and it hits me. We are living a lifestyle that is caring and kind, living LIFE FREE debt free.

It’s a good starting point. Healed to heal. Reflections of this reality were spell bounding

Recently my husbands daughter reached out and saw with a flash how important it was they spend time together. Sure money is tight, funds low, downsized to a 835 sq ft 1 br 1br two dogs and a parrot full. HOWEVER couldn’t get the image out of my mind. The joy received was documented my husband is still beaming

Exactly one month to the day my own daughter sent a ticket for my husband to join them in Canada. Her sharing teared me up and the extension melted my heart to unrecognizable.

“Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”

Divorce essentially bubble wraps guilt. Remember when dating my husband, all he could share, couldn’t help sparkle about, was his children and family that “once was”. Later in our relationship he shared he wish he could have “saved his marriage” “understood his wife” and with counsel he finally did. And a portal was open, the portal of second chances. Makes one head spin it does but with helmets on we take the plunge and eventually make it to the other side. We realize we were never really alone, encouragement was everywhere, all we had to do was take the plunge! TRUST OUR GUT and LOVE ON!

This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. All one has to do is trust and choose to live generously and graciously. Pristine reflections from on high~

Sometimes we are so busy there is no time to digest beauty. Think this is why people choose alcohol or other means of silencing one’s thoughts or another’s loud opinions. We have become puppets to their needs. My prayer is those lines will be cut. Maybe it will come in the form of being “fired” or even divorce. My prayer is people will recognize their freedom and choose to live FREE. Knowing their thoughts and life is PRECIOUS beyond words and their journey is to set others free while they travel…let the sleepers awaken and kind sharing continue. We are only here for a short while my friends…way to short.

Maybe this is why I blog, documenting the memories incredible beauty which one forgets during adversity. Think this is what Paul meant when He declared;

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philipians 4:8

He was imprisoned at the time and yet look at the wisdom which oozed from him. SO many of us are in our own private cells. Yup it’s time to burst forth and face EXACTLY where we are, breathe in beauty and set ourselves free, take flight from negativity and just pray it isn’t being dispelled by you!

Re alignment into resurrection power where radical forgiveness is a choice and there is no more room for abuse only captivating love.  All one has to do is step in, step in to the depth and breath of illuminating truth. Fact is our lives have only scraped the surface or else we would not be struggling so. Balance is needed

So to answer your question why do I write? I don’t have an answer only a “leading” and my prayer it brings joy or direction to some, more importantly change in me. 

DREAM ON MY FRIENDS!!!!!!

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Made a Decision to See the Sunrise

“Ô, Sunlight! The most precious gold to be found on Earth.”
― Roman Payne

Blessed to have one of those friends who loves to investigate Nature and the Wild like I do. So when she called one day last month and suggested a trek was overjoyed to make the time. First on the agenda? Get up early and catch the sunrise of course!!

Our Baptism was complete now to immerse ourselves in NATURE! Our plan was to search out nesting seabirds, heard there was some roped off areas at the Sebastian Inlet, we were STOKED! After all last venture we spied a juvenile Yellow Crowned Night Heron attempting to consume a crab AND the crab attempting to CLIMB BACK OUT OF ITS THROAT! Yup it was caught on video!! In case you missed it will upload here for you!

Every adventure we see some incredible stuff. Today it would be no different except for the eerie realization there was not ONE bird on the beach. Initially it freaked us out. True it was stoking hot but come on NO BIRDS? And then he emerged

It was a crazy thing to witness, he almost got submerged by waves yet so agile indeed, scooping up the tiniest of fish, we certainly didn’t see them in the surf!

The waves were full and the water pristine! If I didn’t have my equipment and a towel would have dove in there myself Yes adulthood rations out tempered actions.

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This bird was so entertaining, he knew I was looking at him too. He had our undivided attention. Looks like we were a day late and could have seen babies yesterday or early that morn!  Yet today we had the gift of this  precious gull or juve Petrel whatever he was, soaring back and forth showing us how to fish.

I loved it when he looked right at me with each catch as if to say “SEE”!

We decided to check out the intracostal and found many gulls, cormorants and terns with an occasional duck flyby! Yeah BIRDS!! Maybe they were waking up as the heat of the day even kept them seeking shade! They were breathtaking to watch

It was time to regroup, hydrate and get under the cool AC. Heard Click Ponds in Viera was being drained and visited by a whole slew of birds so off we went. Traveling west now leaving the sea behind made me feel sad in a way. There is something wild and exhilarating at the ocean. And the sea creatures don’t need oxygen like we do. Spying them is a sweet surprise, like this young sea turtle who poked his head up unexpectedly!

Arriving at Click Ponds we found we were the only photographers there, imagine that! Couldn’t be the 92 degree weather?  At first it was stifling then the temperature didn’t matter, out of the blue this Stilt started soaring into the sly chasing a large raptor OH BOY this meant one thing, we might see BABY STILTS!!! The last time I spied these long pink legged birds was at Green Cay in Delray FLorida, it had been almost one year to the day so I was stoked!  Marsh birds are very shy and can hide quickly, we were armed and ready!

Had no idea Stilts were fearless parents!  This pair was chasing off ANY who came near their wee little ones! We spied three!  OH THEY WERE PRECIOUS! Like witnessing the Purple Gallinule for the first time, speechless.  And then lo and behold we saw what looked like little bumble bees in the grass!! A pair of Whistling Ducks were fruitful indeed!

However as soon as they spied humans they herded their chicks straight away. So different here then at the wetlands down south, there the bird habitat were not as fearful Thankful I spied these precious families. Had to crop the one pic of little bumble bee under mamma’s wing This is when I wish I had a 600 mm lens

Composing this blog just got word my Uncle died. He was a gifted artist and to quote “Through art,” he says, “I found a sense of inner peace. In art, I found my bliss.” Richard Beaulieu

I pause and with tears streaming for the man I thought I didn’t know, reading his words it hits me. We understood each other quite well.

Lights flicker in the house and the brown out leaves me rebooting. Thought the timing was oddly perfect and the message received. I will continue my life without any regrets, making time for the adventure while dusting off any thoughts of rejection.

Read a quote the other day and it smacked me, you know BAM. “Giving up reduces your life,  letting go expands it”   Sometimes we think we had to give something up,  someone divorced you from something you cherished.  Or a loved one was taken from you, unmercifully.  Life has a way of smacking us up the side of our hearts and we don’t hemorrhage?! Tear ducts might, Jesus comes to mind.  He didn’t give up when he went to the cross. He wasn’t dragged.  He never attempted to defend himself.  And when He finally spoke it was; “forgive them Father for they know not what they do”  and resurrection happened.

We have to die to the judgement of others tho remembering He showed us “the way”.  Ahh to live a life in resurgence, authentically, without fear without malice without defilement.  It’s a hard concept to swallow . Mr Anhinga has no problem whatsoever!

So Betsy and I continued down this dirt road searching out Meadowlarks. We could hear them but couldn’t see them. It was scorching,  windows down AC off so we could hear, driving around five miles an hour searching intently when the earth literally shook,  a freakin COW ran up the side of a canal and came barreling out behind us. I thought she was going to come through our window, however fear left us with another suddenly, concentration shifted as a Meadowlark perched directly in front of us.  Oh we just clicked and filmed the moment!

Took my breath away, ok where did the cow go?! It wasn’t difficult to find her, sweet thing asking myself now why we eat meat?!

O gentle beast who broke the fence down to get a drink from the canal scaring two humans and a meadowlark. Thank you

It was approaching dusk. We had a full day and didn’t expect to see what we did. Thanking God for Mother Nature, thinking about the nature of man, my childhood and the moment.

Creator heard my thoughts we experienced one more precious sight; BAMBI! Peering through the woods mamma deer watched me intensely. Thankful she let me see her little one.



“I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes.” ~ E.E.Cummings

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