Part 3 ANZU

Anzu was the most abused little bird I ever encountered. She hated humans and we can not even imagine what she had to endure. She was recovered on a farm, wings hacked back and every human she encountered was hissed at.

A sound like we would imagine a dinosaur making; raptor warning certainly! A local breeder shared she was probably no doubt used as a “breeder” for her red factor

One day she came out and daily interacted. She appeared to be actually enjoying our company!

I worked with her daily and felt we were making progress

Part 2 ANZU

After Yoshi was stolen went through a dark time, life around the house became so so quiet. Still said “Bye Yosh” every morning to an empty perch. Hot tears would stream my face and there were more important things to do…like “pull up my big girl panties”, face my Covid patients, masking up realized my joy was almost stolen.

Yoshi was a great JOY in my life, my families life, my friends!! He touched many a human soul, actually suppose we have no idea how a presence is loved, until they can’t be.

Refocused, processed and knew it was time to love again, save for another, decided a parrot in our lives was a choice, suppose it’s right up there with the thought of marriage. Owning a pet is a commitment, loving again is the discovery of ourselves in others. So just when I was wondering which direction to go received the most loving text from a bird lover in Louisiana. Never been there, however road trip was on the Horizon as someone was gifting me with another bird!! It was really all quite miraculous. May I introduce you all to Anzu’s rescuer, precious first responder Tracy. This woman is beyond precious, meeting her, reflected hope. Tracy was encouraging me to love on.

Truly believe we attract what we need. Yes Tracy reached out and plucked me from depression. So did Alyson when she shared about her son, every person that reached out with a caring heart helped me to heal. Enter Anzu

In the market today there are advertisements for this Exotic Red Factor for African Greys. Always an angle to be strikingly “different” … sigh red factor means they have red feathers due to an actual mutation where they are born with extra red and never lose them it can be this or a sign of liver disease.

Little Anzu looked like she had a red scarf around her neck, at first I thought maybe she was a plucker and then soon learned about the red factor. And zoo was purchased by Tracy at an auction she was severely abused by humans who knows what this little guy went through but Tracy said she worked with her for a year and couldn’t get her really to do much or come out of a cardboard box and she would cling 6 hours at a time on the side of her cage. Yup, was was up for the challenge of loving her back to normalcy, so totally could relate to her

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Anzu was starting to trust humans again….

Our Yoshi was Stolen Part 1

Ever have anything stolen from you? It’s taken a month of processing to even begin to write my experience. What was stolen was my pet, something I grew to love over the years, a very mean Congo African Grey Parrot, rehomed to me because “he bit everyone”  And bite he did, he was one frustrated bird meet Yoshi.

Yoshi was an adult, around 12 when we got him, ever allowed to fledge his muscles had atrophied. It took one year for him to finally take flight without crashing into a wall sounding like a despaired chicken. The day he flew was the day he refused to go back into his cage, a very pricy corner cage, which ended up on ebay. Yup, he took to his perch and never left it, just outgrew it. We purchased several over the years, and this one night someone snuck and took him just like that, off our screened in porch. He could fly, he could still bite, and that night I did hear him laugh, groggily I awoke thinking WTH was he laughing at? It must have been the thief, you see Yoshi always laughed after he bit someone, its what he did! He loved me though, and I loved him. I think he loved me because I let him do what birds do; fly.

After the theft, after the shock, after reporting to the Police and having our porch fingerprinted, after my daughter contacted all local vets and pet shops, all Parrot forums, after ALL of this did the reality sink in, my boy was gone forever. This is when my lurking started. EVERY for sale Congo, EVERY POST on the parrot pages stating “Look at my new parrot I adopted”, yes EVERY one, blood shot eyes would zoom in on their bracelet and pray they would post a video so I could “Hear my Yoshi” and then it happened, in a fetal position balled.

IT was worse than losing my husband to adultery, a loss so deep to my core, can’t  imagine how someone feels who lost a child. Is this sadly becoming the American way? People stealing whatever they want? And in this case it was our beloved Yoshi

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=964367116912836&id=100000186694039

How we miss him

Define Crazy

Is it crazy to have loved and wish you never loved because the separation hurts so bad?

My pet was stolen this month and I haven’t really been the same since. I question what the message is other than the obvious; people STEAL what they WANT, sometimes they even succeed and start new with once was yours to cherish.

You miss the feathers everywhere and even the crazy poop, after all you loved the whole of them, it was just part of the process. However grief isn’t the same for the divorcee, or the soul who has been stolen from. No, death is a gift indeed. To see what you loved in the arms of another or imagining where they are? That’s a whole OTHER part of “no more”. A whole new lesson of learning how to let go….

Different year same fear

Well it’s happened again. “Can you paint this for me?” It’s so much easier to take a picture and it’s sad maybe this is my problem? JUDGEMENT and FEAR

Say if they don’t like it? –

I am so not a lazy person, so love to compete with myself, set private goals, stretch my perceptions yet when it comes to this, Producing for another…I freeze.

Just the other day a co-worker was looking at my photos and commenting; “These are remarkable” and she asked why I haven’t entered them in a competition. My response was immediate; “If you saw the photos of the ones who taught me you would know these are not at that level”.  My own words resonated within me.

As a kid never thought twice. If I loved it, poured myself into the project, into the hunt, into whatever it was, with wild abandonment. Whatever or however led, would just “do it”, and not give up until it was mastered. Now that I think back on it, whatever my eyes were set on, my heart on, eventually was attained.

Who taught me to compromise who I AM?!!

If we have a talent it’s not really “mine”, rather it’s “ours”. Each one of us has gifts and when freely given MIRACLES HAPPEN! Nevertheless if one is full of bitterness, full of judgment, strife, anger, fear….one literally can’t give. So what caused you to fear?

Now I have to ask; what excuses have I made for choosing not to believe? Not to trust in Gods Grace to complete “me“, no matter how I feel…NOW is the time to step on fear’s ugly head and trust the One who Created me to be...just this…living Faith, living Hope..living Love. Amen

I spied my easel today, in the new attic, new cobwebs, old fears. WOW ok now I am tearing up Lord YES, Lord..set the captives free…let it first start with me

One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. But to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying. –Joan of Arc

Sick of sick

It has been probably one of the most stretching times of my life speaking personally, economically, work related STRESS of my life, maybe because lives are being lost at a superlative rate, and never in the history of my care giving have my cohorts and myself been personally affronted!!  Yah so basically IT SUCKS and I smile despite the season whilst I upload my daughter and son n laws puppy. This is untouched and hard to believe this guy truly is a love!! LOL Presentation is everything don’t you think?

So ok I sit here kinda sad this month as I contemplate all the shit and struggles we have personally been through. Totally not alone, get this, just sometimes one needs to whine RIGHT?? I miss my man, my love of my life, who as corny as it sounds COMPLETES ME!! He came into my life at a precarious time, almost as bad as this…lol, not quite, however personally PAR! We morphed into what I think is a pretty incredible relationship, despite our pasts. Consider him to be not only my best friend, confident and lover, nope consider him to be my equal. Nakedly we embarked on the delicate exposure of our egos and fragmented pasts to find ourselves equally yoked; yah tearfully complete in each othes arms.

Suppose its a typical love story, like all love stories, would like to end of the rest of my days resting in his arms. Secure in his knowing, his proclamations of REAL well, yah, it makes me smile. Yah, I don’t want to live without him, and this DAMN virus keeps us apart. Why? Well my days at work are spent caring for the deadly diseased and dying. So I sit here yet again, hot tears streaming down my face, asking God for direction, tired and weary knowing the reality of real yet kept apart, wonder what the next step will be. Being on the front lines…well………it sucks for us personally. So love on we do as crazed as these moments are, praying for lucidness knowing, it was real wasn’t it?

And I sigh thinking, this too shall pass, hopefully with us sailing on the beautiful blue sea, embracing and seeing our dreams come true. It’s ok to still dream isn’t it? To share the beauty and hope with our children, our grands?? Despite the brokenness, despite the pain of rejection and death all around us, please let me see Lord that LOVE and HOPE is real. Amen Father heal us, heal this land, let all reality be seen on this trail called LIFE!

Wild Wave of Covid-19

Know anyone who lived their lives so completely transparent meeting them changes you forever?  Maybe this is what the Saints of old were like. Profoundly honest with living their truth, in their presence you become energized, yes you can’t fake authenticity; power to ride out polluted waves of change.

Think everyone deep down desires this in their lives, however there is a price. I see the price some people have paid as they are lying on a hospital bed. It’s so sad. Choices have left many in palsy, years of wrong choices will become evident eventually. However everyone has a gift buried deep within them. It’s called CHOICE. We can choose to forgive, we can choose to face our ugly selves, bathe or be bathed.

Sometimes I sit down to write and say WTF CRAP!! Carrying lots in my heart, wondering where I fit in with the climate change and pollution around me and wonder how I can truly make a difference. Of course we know the answer is to work on our own dis-ease, our own weakness, leave the harsh judgment “out there” don’t pollute our inner sanctuaries. — sigh — yet I wonder, what is it going to take for the pollution to stop? And why we are streaming thought let’s repeat history and fight influenza like in 1918?

 

 

As I observe nature and it’s beauty I wonder if many of these species will still be around when my grandchildren are my age? Tears stream and wonder if my thoughts and prayers are empty. Certainly they fill my heart with boldness. Thinking about the time trekking through the mountains of Montana, and a whisper comes from my heart; O Father please let my children and their children see this too!

Thinking on these thoughts when I am called to greet a visitor!! Well didn’t a little Red Bellied Woodpecker and then a speckled black and white Downy decide to Rap tap tap upon our tree. They came in quite close, didn’t appear to even be aware of our presence. Just adore it when Nature shows up unexpectedly, always teaching, always refreshing.

 

Living comes down to waking up, giving thanks and embracing the new day with freshness and vigour. Especially during this season of covid where one sees death daily. never before in the history of my working did I have to prepare myself as mentally too faced death as I do now only now do I understand the rigors of what our men anddand women didtdid when they went to war.

As I was snapping a quick shot noticed purple in the backyard old oak tree. What was discovered was PURE ORCHID ABUNDANCE!! And all WILD!!! I also took a quick film of it; just incredible! And to think I never noticed them before!! Climate change suites them!!

I must concentrate on the beauty around me and the reason for our being present.  YesoYes to offer encouragement and hope against this wretched disease.

On the Trail

My mom came to join me on a Trek. She is my biggest fan, reads all my blogs, asks to see my photos and that’s a mom for you!

When she reads this blog she will have the genuine knowledge of; “on the trail”, the sounds, experiencing the bug bites and atmospheric changes.  A component which is difficult to encapsulate with words.

It’s the reason I love photography. Catching the portals of heaven as they open, hearing the sacred messages and to think its all around us!

Yes it’s a gift to hear and to see. And it’s an honor to share, especially with the one who birthed me. After leaving the cosmos I became flesh in HER WOMB!  The thought boggles my mind. And then she breaks my contemplation with; “LOOK THERE’S ONE I SEE IT I SEE IT”  Almost missed it as it was set back deep in the brush. Funny looking creature this Sand Fidler crab!  We quietly got out of the car and I snapped away before it disappeared deep in his hole.

Not until I caught this alien looking creature tho~! Fascinating indeed, the large second claw of the male fiddler crab is known as a secondary sexual characteristic and is used to attract a mate during the breeding season as well as to protect territories. The male crab will stand by the entrance to the burrow waving the larger claw in an effort to attract a female. DANG!

Found out that birds also like crabs. On the beach was a lone Yellow Night Heron who I was able to witness swallow this creature WHOLE! Who would think they were able to do such a feat!

These birds will hunt and right before striking wag their tail butts back and forth, almost like a cat! Then compress their beaks like a vice, chomping down then clip up and swallow!! Sometimes the crab won’t be fully dead and attempt to crawl back up and out their throats! NATURE IS FASCINATING! I understand the joy of photo journalists and it’s a privilege to observe and document such adventures! With my friends approval I share this experience with you all, she was able to film the moment in totality! It was worth almost getting heat stroke! 🙂

Night Heron With Crabby Patty Breakfast – 08/10/2014 from Betsy Stibal on Vimeo.

Yes it was a glorious day, we witnessed a great big Osprey fly by with a glistening fish in their talons.  Mom had said “lets sit here awhile” we were vising Pelican Island when this bird appeared and flew right past us.

Osprey’s only hunt and eat fish, unlike Hawks who will eat anything that moves! Understand the lovers of Ornithology; study of birds. Yes nature is amazing. Capturing glimpses like this A GIFT!

It’s difficult to close this blog, so many images to choose from however friends and family are waiting. It’s Labor Day and I don’t have to work!~ It’s time for celebrating with friends. However difficult to pull myself away from these images, and yes a JOY to be able to share with you all. Have a blessed day my friends and enjoy your families….and flight.

Repeating the adventure this month; savoring the memory in this period of unrest in our lives. Fact is, it’s the same truth just a different day, smiling for the opportunity to share another month of joy while traveling on this path called life.

The Season of Corona

A year-and-a-half ago I requested time off from work to go visit my daughter, fast forward to now; “Do you still want to take off even though you’re sequestered to your home?”  Instant reply; “Yes, thank you!”

Stayed home two weeks; no cough no signs of illness and it was time to “come home“.  These three had just about enough of my absence and Gary couldn’t reiterate again; “Ok now the bird is throwing seeds on the floor and you know I don’t change litter boxes”  Absolutely missed that man and my fuzzy feathery children! Living certainly has a way of stretching you to new depths of understanding!

Wow teary reunions all right, times like this solidify, no, magnifies the reason for our being! Gary looked at me with that wry grin of his and twinkle in his eye stating; “Sweets, it’s time for that road trip.”  The CDC finally lifted the band for travel between states and it had been several years since seeing my daughter and grandchildren. Road-trip ON!

We had the best time, cherished even more the friendship with Gary, love deepened with every mile. Understand the love between my parents and his. Get what family is all about and it had nothing to do with any political agendas, it was all about discovery.

As we spent precious time with family and exchanged thoughts, ideas even with the Amish, again illustrated the preciousness of a statement; labor of love. Truly believe we attract what we need for growth; spiritual and beyond.

Sitting here smiling in a spirit of thanksgiving! Reflecting on the scriptures from my youth; do not be afraid….all things work out for good for those who love the Lord and the words of my earthly father; LOVE WINS EVERY TIME how I miss him. As long as I have breath will walk through to the standard of living kindly, knowing nature is a gift and all her teachings are in the wind itself. We are here just a short while, may we never give up on starting each day with the hope of love and paying forward to the best of our being while traveling on our path.

THIS MONTH HOLY VIRUS SHIT

Another wave of change roles in as a new virus surfaces and wipes out many with weakened immune systems. Seen this over and over again in my field however this month it appears media has encapsulated the herd mentality. Embarrassed witnessing some of the antics knowing these are my neighbors. Ahh thank GOD for the refreshings! The beach here in Stuart Florida reflected pristine blues and heard visitors even escaliming; “It looks like the Bahamas“.  Yup sure does since they haven’t been dumping Okeechobee waters into it!

its been craycray at work and around FB. Many are uptight about treatment of this next virus and it scares me a bit too after reading Silent Spring by Rachel Carson. She reiterated what I knew but with more detailed annoyances of how the pollution is stored in my own liver.  These thoughts rattle through my head when a murder of crows fly by. Looking up see how they not only announce the presence of a lurking gator below, but that also of a visiting juvenile eagle, woodpecker and great blue heron.

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It’s a blessing to have nature so exquisitely available. Breathing in sounds deadens my frustrations. Having my finger on the trigger lets me upload a teaching and a knowing, this too shall pass.  

The air was full of the sounds of nature; insects, a murder of crows, ripples of water, snakes slithering and now anhinga surfacing as a writing fish speared clear through it’s gut! Indeed my camera card would be full soon. Above in the trees I see Mr Osprey consuming his latest catch. A day full of teachings, a day full of refreshing.

Was reading an article totally agree with, Human emotion literally shapes the world around us. Not just our perception of the world, but reality itself. This has been a reality of mine since childhood when reading a scripture; what you fear will come upon you. It was many years ago and back then my fear was abandonment. And it did come upon me; not once but twice yup, learned the lesson and this sweet palm warbler caught the bug!!!

Life teaches, we attract what we need to learn and you know what?  ALL I CAN DO IS SMILE!!!!!!  The trek was awesome, the teaching refreshing and life is so so GOOD for us! My man who loves me is so attentive to all my needs, omgoodness meets my needs BETTER than my spouses and I sit hear tearing up, wow, so so blessed.

For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me. Job 3:25

It’s been an amazing month, amazing realization I AM LOVED, not just from my fiance, my family, my co workers but from GOD HIMSELF which is the really what totally makes sense in this life, after all He did create me! 🙂 talk about a love story!