Reconciliation

My kids totally blew me away. Inviting me to pause and spend time to “play at the cabin”, yes reacquaint with my daughter, son n law and grands. Tear up as I write this, WOW they are incredible, all of them so unique, novel as their pets!

Had my agenda, heart was heavy about another and indeed wanted them to meet my Gary, yet deep down knew Our Creator had a greater plan, yes it was time to quiet my spirit and hear once again.

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Isn’t it true, the refreshings come however usually after a bit of a challenge. One must plan and the elements kinda fall together. Two weeks of continuous discovery which led to the eventual capture the Canadian Loon. It was right around dusk, an incoming storm made the water dark and mysterious, cascading the sunlight through branch silhouettes, reflections so pristine when this red eyed beauty popped up around the dock. She must have been feeding. Thankful my 400mm was close by as these birds were quite illusive.

As swift as the Cormorant yet half their size found filming them as difficult as the Pied-billed grebe, yet just as rewarding. This place truly was a piece of heaven on earth. Crack myself up because I seem to write this alot, however true, nature takes you away from all the ugly parts  Quieting the mind one discovers the ultimate weapons of grace and beauty.

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Marijuana is legal in Canada. We visited the Indian Reservation and WOW ūüėĀ was I impressed. These people were like pharmacist’s!! Gary wasn’t disappointed, simply explain what you like when *stoned: need to sleep or just want to be pain free, and these experts suggest which element would serve best, educational to say the least!

As a medical professional never have entertained thoughts of experimenting with mind body alterations, thankfully never had the need; pain free. Also don’t exactly want to lose my license as my workplace will do random drug testing. However, many of my patients share how this weed totally helps them manage their pain, their lives.

 

This month has been a month of transformation for both of us. We totally understand the need spending time with loved ones, with family. Teared up many times blown away by the growth physically and emotional growth witnessed.  Even reflections of the local gypsy moth reflected the joy we felt; can you see the happy face on his head?? Joy was evident everywhere.

Will end this months thoughts with a vid full of joyful memories. If you haven’t spent time visiting Canada DO, if you haven’t made the time to relax with loved ones ask yourself why.

Every day is an invitation, to let go of the past, investigate new thoughts, commence a new friendship, embrace truth. Thank you all for being in my life, without you, there would be no Joy.

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Lamentations…yah.

I’m sitting here under the cool breeze of the air conditioner at my Airbnb smiling. It’s actually quite a treat as my own abode has no AC, a choice made so we could fund our dream; living on a sailboat.

It has been three and a half years living with no AC and it is possible even in Florida! Agree to this because what a good way to know if I could even fathom living within the natural elements 24/7 adrift a mobile home on the water. It certainly brings out the curl in my hair!

My travels have strictly been on land and my respect and love for mother nature is in explicitly invigorating and personally revealing.  Whatever lens I peer through, macro or telephoto reveals a teaching, research beyond the subconscious.

The fact is this truth, well it has a way of getting into your bones nourishing your mind and body daily. This refreshment, this knowing cannot be replicated with external remedies though adopting an animal comes mightily close. Meet Phoenix, newest fuzzball extension of my family.

Living with kitten energy kinda reminds me of my grandchildren. Curious creatures adapting to our environment, play, snuggle, kneed and motor purr right into your ‚̧ԳŹ heart.¬† These little ones were found in the woods, and when showed this pic of him in the cardboard box? Well it was his eyes and that NOSE, yup it was all I saw.

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So basically been working my ass off with goals of DEBT FREE and in my heart know this doesn’t happen without making sacrifices and especially being patient with self. Sit here today amongst the booming sounds, its July 4th and Independence day has arrived.¬† With tears flowing see while helping others dreams emerge into reality,¬† lost myself in the process. My desire so much to recapture; You and Me, has left me questioning where to go from here.

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; …

Goodness knows oh so needed some grounding, in the nuance of rejection found a balance, saw the disbursement of heavens portal open where truth descended and we both found sustenance. With this knowing I rest and look forward to the next adventure.

This lil one grew faint in the sun, saw the scrape on his head and he did poop berries in my hand as I held his fragile being in my hand. He was panting so and appeared disoriented. Set him on a fence and knew he would be fine once he found his bearings. Sometimes life has a way distracting as we consume what we shouldn’t disoriented we lose our way however angels have a way of appearing and setting us in the right direction. And goodness he sure did make me laugh!! He took me places certainly didn’t expect to go!

Here we discover nature in all its wonderment, we look into the eyes of the innocent and remember, resting under this tree called life we give thanks for family. His family during this season, blessed me so.

“Forgive me Father let me not cause pain, let my children learn and grow and launch into your design, after all without Your blessing everything is of naught. Let our lives glorify and reflect Your truth Your Love Your reality as eternity whispers the reasons why.” .Selah~

Brushing off the dust will emerge yet again, this time hopefully not living out of suitcases.

 

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Sometimes it Happens

Delirious he said; I’m Delirious and waves kept crashing over him. Life certainly has a way of exposing, especially in regards to embracing change. Was I ready for this next step? Iv’e been here before however this doesn’t make it any easier. When change rushes in things can get messy.

Here I am caught in this whirlwind smiling because truly it’s JOY bubbling all around me. Everywhere we turn we find unexpected surprises.

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Today the surprise came in the form of a carton full of kittens! This one little black and white cuteness just leapt into my heart, and today he is curled up beside me.

Funny how these things happen.  Weighing our options we leap towards what we know is truth despite the unknowing. Staying true to your heart is key. And this day a feral cat and her kittens were rescued and my heart made my tears stream.

Yup I’m smiling, he had become¬†vulnerable¬† as best as he tried to fight it, we again found ourselves; caring. This made me smile in every part of my being. Knew a bigger plan was penetratingly revealing itself.

Adopting kittens was a manifestation of an open door, a foundation had been laid and now innocent energy was invited in and everything was changing yet again. Remember him saying; “Ignore what I say and just love me

Love does that, exposes every bit of insecurity as you merge thoughts. You find true power lies in surrender; ¬†“As you give so shall you receive” ¬†And suddenly your life is transformed and your past is like a dream. You break free from the cycle of regret and forge into the present.

Recently brought my dogs for a long walk. Found an area where I could unleash them, WOW the joy expressed on their faces was undeniable.

Found out¬†there is no state mandated leash law in Florida. The decision to regulate dog restraint or control is left to the county or city government. ¬†Ah regulation, forceful law to control behavior. ¬†Heck you really don’t know the true essence of yourself until you are given choice, shed the law and unleash your spirit, only then is your heart revealed.

Many of us are still in various forms of sequestration that can cage with false realities. There is a need for balance between actively engaging in the world and isolating oneself from it.

Love filming the uncaged ones where their presence teaches. Keen sight, delicate balance, expert flight, vibrant colors and masterful air stream flight.

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Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?

Eagles know their weakness, failure could mean their death. The slightest injury could leave him to weak to hunt and cause her to starve. ¬†Viewing them on my treks always leaves me astounded. Thankful this big one didn’t think our min pin Pickles was a worthy subject for his consumption! Spotting her was able to capture her presence in a regal way.

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Spying her reminded me of a trek a few years ago where I came across a nest with two eagle chicks!!  Eagles are great parents!

Sitting at the beach where this trek ended and there spied a common seagull. It’s in the upload you realize every living thing is so precious, pristine and the most uncommon creation you’ve ever seen. Tears well up, spending time in nature softens you. My heart was feeling again.

“No man is your enemy, no man is your friend, every man is your teacher.”-Florence Scovel Shinn

Sit here remembering my dads last thoughts, days before his passing as he looked into my mom’s eyes, smiled and said; “Love Always Wins”. ¬† Their life wasn’t easy yet looking back never felt abandoned, never felt frightened, never went to bed hungry, yes, we were loved. Recently read this thought and totally agree.

“Great relationships are the result of a consistent investment of time, thoughtfulness, forgiveness, affection, mutual respect and rock-solid commitment”


Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end.  ~
Germaine de Stael

Along the bank of the marsh came across this lovely Limpkin. So thankful for my 500 MM lens as it lets me get intimate and my physical presence doesn’t intimidate.

It feeds almost exclusively on apple snails, which it extracts from their shells with its long bill. Its screaming cry is unmistakable and evocative. Oh I have witnessed their humble scavenging. Trekking through the wetlands of Florida you see the hidden if you’re patient. In the film below you can see how they extract the snail!

Unless you spend time in nature these moments are missed, mysteries stay hidden, understanding lost. Every Trek one receives far more then he seeks. Most times the uploads astound me, had no idea the beauty was so breathtakingly energizing.

The above two birds look so similar yet two totally different species. One is the American Purple Gallinule.  Can always tell the difference by their violet head shield versus the invasive Purple Swamp Hen with their striped red feet and red head shield.

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Although they are primarily vegetarians, purple swamp hens have also been recorded preying on mollusks, fish, frogs, lizards, snakes, bird eggs, and small birds. They may also impact the plant life of the wetlands and the native species that depend on it. They both are so beautiful and it isn’t the swamp hens fault for being brought here to America. Just like the Iguana, could never set my heart on destroying either invasive species.

“Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none”-¬†William Shakespeare

As I prepare this blog this month, reviewing all the species filmed, new souls met and this real present feeling of contentment, I smile. Spending time with whom I love humbles me.

Divine love is the most powerful chemical in the universe. It’s a high which can’t be contained in one word, a presence which dissolves everything which is not of itself. It burns out ego when your heart breaks and walks away. And somehow mysteriously, in the dark night of the soul, healing begins.

“for I AM the great I AM. I will make your paths straight” ¬†Proverbs 3 ¬†

Starting to understand that scripture now, the one that says; Be anxious for nothing… as I hike along the wilderness trail can’t help but smile. Thankful there is still “walk” in me, there are finances to get me to where I need to be, my mind is sharp, fear subsides as the voice in my GPS get’s me there, technology is mind blowing, however nothing tops Mother Nature.

It was a suddenly, and suddenly I¬†understood.¬†¬†To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. –Timothy Keller

I look at up and tears escape again, it’s such a secret place, a sacred place. Today¬†even the cobwebs of my life are beautiful.


Today as an innocent kitten purrs in my life, trusting me with his I thank God for the woman who found him, who made the effort to rescue feral female, house her and her kittens, getting them veterinary care. Later she shared how her new husband had abandoned his marriage vows and left her for another.

Getting involved in Foster Care was keeping her busy and giving her a new focus, a new JOY! Infidelity can mess with your head not only your heart. And here she was rising above all the personal pain and making our world better. Yup NEVER give up.

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Lover of Nature

What a fun month, actually every adventure spent births some form of comfort, illumination and confirmation. Like the moments of transfixed stillness,  when eyes meet innocence.

Every day offers opportunities for reflection and uploads unveil those gray days provided the best light. Difficult to miss that floating head in the water, especially during mating season, heck they are showing up everywhere in Florida!

And then of course the Great Blue Heron, expert fisherman wowing me with another delightful catch. When foraging, they stand silently along the shore, waiting for prey to come by, then they stab the prey with a quick lunge of the bill. They will also stalk prey slowly and deliberately. Literally could watch them for hours.

Below is the Least Bittern. It prefers brackish marshes so to hide in thick clumps of tall plants, cattails, bulrush or sedges. This lil guy was staring at me and to see him balancing on this branch, swaying in the breeze brought me such delight.

Always enjoy the meet and greet in Nature and rarely feel intimidated or in danger, can’t really explain why, don’t think it’s naivety, more a mutual respect.¬† Like the reality of female gator will stay over a year with her young, protecting, instinctively guiding her spawn.¬† When we spy these little ones, mama is close by.

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Sometimes we come across intimate moments, the one’s you read about, when mama gator gently collects her offspring in her mouth and brings them down to the water’s edge.¬† It’s a moment you will never forget and you are so grateful for the sacrifice. Remembering a time when your hear your adopted brother say; “Brenda you have a great eye, it’s time to set up your lens fund, it’s time for you, it’s time to invest in your passion.” – Eric Reuter¬†

Will never forget his words, when I sensed an internal shaking of sorts, a season where one could perceive yet not quite put your finger on the imbalance, yup a bit like deja vu. What he shared was indeed a seed planted. He could see what I could not. It confirmed once again how an end is just a new beginning.

Smile recalling those lens fund days, consumed a lot of Ramen. Recently had a cup and found great comfort from the hot salty mixture of yum. Brings one to a place of remembrance, place of sacrifice, determination mixed with a smack of yes.  When the world around you is shifting and changing faster than you can handle, embrace the call to transformation.

Yes, as you look in the eyes of the ones who truly love you, you adapt and awaken to the hind sight of wow,  and finally breathe and embrace a very much alive connection with life.

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April Winds and Nickernuts

Ever meet someone whose voice resounds truth, can’t help but feel dejavu?! Annie Dike,¬† author of Keys of the Kingdom¬†and Salt of a Sailor, one such soul whose words impacted. Like a tiller, she thrust thoughts slightly above downwind, made me laugh out loud and cry in the same paragraph. Was able to chat with her over cyber space, where she pointed me to her youtube vids and blog space. She so made me smile, days like this you know we are all interconnected, all travelers breathing the same air and some actually discover love, never returning to once was. Embracing change we come to a knowledge of truth.

We indeed attract what we need, oh, especially trek adventures, where reflections found in nature totally refresh. Like watching the Great Blue Heron relaxing by the river or the Egret silently cruising over the waters edge.

‚ÄúThe real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.‚ÄĚ‚ÄĒ Marcel Proust

Latest trek revealed a new discovery of these cesious blue beans; NICKERNUTS!

These prickly pods totally fascinated us.  A dozen times we frequented this area and never saw them, the upload was even more astonishing.  Along with this one lone Morning Glory revealing a tiny illuminated center, can you see it?

As I reflected on this lonely fairy like face it hit me, there was not one bee, no butterfly’s nor hummingbirds to be seen on any flower.¬† It’s bloom lasts a few days, but the plant produces so many new ones that its flowering time lasts the whole summer. So maybe it was just an off day for these pollinators?

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Even the sea was calm, almost flaccid. Did spy large fish action; spinner shark or tarpon breaking the surface of the water, a few sailboats at anchor and powerboats whizzing by and a handful of plovers. Below is a quick clip of the sea of glass witnessed today.

Definitely the calm before the storm as just two days later we would witness a radical change.  As a cold front approached so did the winds, stirring up 15-20 ft waves!  One must respect and know how to adjust those sails to reach their destination. Smiling thinking I get why surfers morph into sailors.

“You can’t stop the waves but you can learn to surf.” – John KabatZinn¬†

Surfing is so much more than a sport, it’s a lifestyle and with this lifestyle comes prudence. The ability to choose which wave to surf, for sailors to distinguish when to stay put on anchor, or seek shelter in harbor.

Suppose in a way I am living vicariously through my best friend, a former Key West hippie. ūüôā His stories awaken something deep in my belly, hard to put into words the surge. Either way we can smile and say BRING IT ON, the goal?! Living debt free of course. This meant casting away all shadows of doubt and most definitely living fully in the present.

You demonstrate love by giving it unconditionally to yourself.  And, as you do, you attract others into your life who are able to love you without conditions Paul Ferrini 

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March Madness

This month begins with retroflection. March was a fond month for me in the past, full of chocolate pudding pie recipes, where maybe this year the topping would be thicker than ever for his palate accelerated to; what lure, which boat, what lunch to pack, what favorite beer to ice, for the best fishing adventure evah~. You see, both my loves were Pisces men and both chose to dismantle any future dreams together.

Let my soul smile through my heart and my heart smile through my eyes, that I may scatter rich smiles in sad hearts. -Paramahansa Yogananda

Even as I write these thoughts think why this? Truly writing brings me to that still and quiet place where waves of understanding come, where healing envelopes all of the soul; mind, will and emotions; where the present collides with the past and the future whispers.

This is when another layer comes off. And here I sit, listening to the pounding surf with¬† my buddies, who don’t seem to care about my presence. Lifting my camera get in close, real close. I almost feel part of their flock, its right here, right now I am complete, profoundly content.

Found a dune where I could lie silently naked with my thoughts. The sun was just right, Bon de Sole~ was melting and epidermis was glistening. Come on in Vit D, it was revitalizing time with no humans to decimate this hidden place, or so I thought!

‚ÄúLiving from a place of authenticity is difficult because those living in distortion see you as a threat to their delusion and some are so attached to that delusion that they will behave in erratic ways to defend their ego‚Äôs projection of wounding.‚ÄĚ – Suzanne Wagner

Well first came the helicopter and then came the human flying butterfly.

You couldn’t plan this truly and as I snapped my pics I couldn’t help but sigh.¬† Both scared the crap out of not only me, yup, you guessed it, those precious birds. They took off in a frenzy and was praying they wouldn’t swirl into metal or tangle in a kite!

Here are some snaps of my resting place. It was just enough time for refueling and little did I know the recharge would be shared in this months blog. Hoping it inspires, makes a soul smile and most importantly cherish who you are,  exactly where you are, Knowing the future is whispering, despite the echoing decibels.  Yes my friends, never ever give up and hold onto that promise deep inside.

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I love people that work with passion and love. When you make choices that way, there’s reverberations, consequences. That’s what I’m interested in, that echo, that ripple of choice. Derek Cianfrance

So hold onto those refreshing’s that come. The moments so sweet, so gentile, so outrageously funny you snort in laughter! Hold onto those friends that “get it“, let them know how special they are, how grateful YOU are that they are in YOUR life!!

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Muscle of Your Curiosity

Giggling like a little girl, yes totally entertaining myself and it has NOTHING to do with the wine I am sipping. Recently we visited a vineyard in our neck of the woods!  Reminds me of tastes from Italy, no preservatives and quite refreshing to savor.  However THAT my friends is actually a whole other blog thought.

It’s considered “season”¬†and this years flu has left so many bed ridden. It’s so heartbreaking to see and treat as exacerbation’s leave many frustrated and hopeless. Working within this atmosphere has a toll as one is challenged in all realms of the psyche. One must be armored for battle in a very real sense because we all know;¬†hurting people hurt people.

I am so blessed with an amazing foundation of friends and family. Just when I think this life has thrown another “WTFREALLY?!?!? moment too¬†many”, their presence presses in like a cloudless day, penetrating the dark places. Yup you emerge with a better understanding and sustenance.

 

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Today would be no different, one plans to succeed, stay kind and maintain health in all its forms, the gentle balance of give and take. And my private goal? Living debt free of course so with that thought I forge ahead, casting all private fears aside, yes even the Alfred Hitchcock thoughts. ūüôā

 

Had an amazing trek and a sweet surprise amongst the chatter of the crows. They usually announce loudly their predator and today it would be a magnificent immature Eagle. His seven foot wing span could easily take him away from this annoyance yet he chose to stay amongst this murder of crows.

Did you know the crow has the biggest brain to body ratio among all bird species? Evolved with a highly developed fore-brain where intelligence is regulated, the anatomy of the crow brain is similar to humans. Today their chatter brought me to the foot of the great Eagle. Looking up couldn’t help but smile.

To capture these sights invigorated me. Hiking in Nature made all the political agendas silence. Observing her again made me so grateful for invisible boundaries. Thankful no walls needed here. Thankful for open trails and thankful hearts.

 

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May we always embrace the beauty around us, may we stay thankful, may we always have an open heart to help where we can, staying honest and kind while sharing all the love in our hearts.  In this thought I rest.

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