Few years ago invested in myself, it was after my bro encouraged me to purchase a digital camera. His comment kinda speared reality into me; “Brenda when are you going to start living for yourself?” He heard and knew my commitment to my family, my husband, our God, and yet he probed deeper, and it hurt. He must have realized and kinda said; “Well start eating Ramen noodles, put the extra money in a lens fund”. Had no idea noodles could taste so good.
Tho pulling back on the reins of “giving”, revealed a whole new result; puppet strings were revealed, a co-dependent form of me was evident, I didn’t like it, or my photos.
And it kept on coming and in forms I didn’t quite want. My heart was breaking. Change was overpowering the me, the I, and “we” was finally understood.
And I walked and tears streamed hot. One said “they will be collected in a bottle” and I thought of the wife who loss her spouse to suicide, and my high school friend who also lost a son. My mind would say my tears were selfish, compared to them, and I lay awake unable to breathe, and the Charmin was running out.
And then it happened, counsel kicked in, now unstuck was able to dismantle what I thought was healthy, despite the web of deception clinging on.
Today as I sit in the quiet of the morning, sipping my creamy warm coffee, can’t help but smile remembering what my son said to me; “Mom we live in a little bit of paradise”. He was right. Every person visiting this abode says; “It feels so peaceful in here”. The atmosphere HAS changed! The cuckoo clock was gone. Recognition of the promised land, the oath was established.
My heart was healing. Eyesight was returning. Dreams were remembered. Dipping into the miraculous was freeing my soul.
Today awaken to a periscope tweet. A call from Africa makes me smile. Deposited long ago was a hunger, so deep the echo penetrated even my senses and today the adventure begins yet again. No longer will I question the “why” and let the present daily bread sustain as we forgive those who trespassed against us, yes, delivered from evil, we smile.
How could you not smile at something this miraculous, new birth, and of course as adorable as this Black-Necked Stilt below?!!
And the above shot is only a portion of his legs, below is a snapshot of him out of the water!
During one of my Treks was just in time to witness the changing of the guard, all I could do was hold my breath and barely balance my 500mm during the sequence and bathing of a Purple Gallinule! When you see such unique species existing within their habitats its a banquet of sorts, flashes of Eden!
All of it, this thing called life, reiterates once again the power of grace, the power of forgiveness, yes, the power of truth. The fact is you might be scared to death starting “over”, but this time deception is gone.
“I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. Be as wary as serpents and harmless as doves” Jesus