Eat Me

“After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.”– Oscar Wilde

Had a month off of work and tromped through the NY Catskills and trekked some in Forest Mills Ontario. To say it was a trip of a lifetime would be totally nonfactual, to say it was life-changing would be close, more like life altering encapsulates the gist of it. Sites seen literally took my breath away, rock walls with trickling water from fresh springs, large green leaves and hidden brooks with endless streams of refreshment. Land of Eden.

Met some gifted souls, loving souls who shared their abodes thinking this was like back in the day of the Apostles where one welcomes a stranger or friends and gives them the cloak off their back, “do unto others as you would have then do unto you” rings true yet again.

_MG_0044a_filtered

During this trek while fueling up had a huge truck back into my rental car and bashed in the front end pretty good. Had insurance and really no one was harmed, it was more of a nuisance. Saw the fear and dismay on the elder who did the damage and his response to me was; “Never had this happen to me before”. While in the midst of trauma we always tend to focus on ourselves don’t we? I too never had this happen to me yet it’s my nature to put myself into the others shoes. Maybe it’s more my spiritual training, it was then I reached out to him and introduced myself and we found common ground. We departed cordially. As I was discussing the whole incident with my friend remember saying; “Everything which occurs is for our benefit, this is probably a heads up for me” it was more a “hearts up” as a text which I received in a Toronto airport would change my life forever.

This blog was started years ago with my heart felt desire to share the beauty I see in life, not my personal pain. Maybe it’s pain that gets me out and about in Nature, wash away negativity, so with that being said, I rest my personal heartache and groans for Heavens ears.  And of course my closest friends and family, after all “forsake not the gathering together” as that will make a heart implode.

Today had a friend write; “Pray God deal with (them) according to His Loving Kindness…” “and thank Him for the answer”  and further stated…”Hand your pain totally to God and God will act on your behalf…..”  his statement floored me.  I didn’t want kindness, I wanted to personally knock some teeth out. I wanted karma, wanted it now. I was angry, hurt, shocked and appalled in one big breath. Exhalation would not be pretty.

Left with my own ugliness I chose to bathe. See I was trapped in my head and my heart was becoming harder by the minute. So I poured myself a glass of my favorite wine in my favorite glass, filled the tub with hot water and Epson salts and my favorite oils and had a good cry.  Hadn’t let myself hear my own heart. Didn’t dare let my pain out until then. I was finally alone…so I could. So important to allow those portals of healing to open. Be kind to yourself, for how else can one love unconditionally?

bambi_filtered

“Highly sensitive people are too often perceived as weaklings or damaged goods. To feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness, it is the trademark of the truly alive and compassionate. It is not the empath who is broken, it is society that has become dysfunctional and emotionally disabled. There is no shame in expressing your authentic feelings. Those who are at times described as being a ‘hot mess’ or having ‘too many issues’ are the very fabric of what keeps the dream alive for a more caring, humane world. Never be ashamed to let your tears shine a light in this world.”  – Anthon St Maarten

Let your light shine, hear that statement now and again.  Everyone carries truth, some have a very sharp sword of delivery. You are blessed if you have a friend who can slay your ego. Doubly so if you heed their words.  And then their are some who have always been jealous of your life and comments are like in the days of Job. Their reasoning is a syllogism. It’s best to deliver yourself from their presence. Again it’s a choice, God’s gift to us. The gift which makes us above the Angels, talk about mind-blowing.  Power indeed.

How do we know whether we are following God’s ways all the time? ”   I think this man summed it up well..

So many examples of love and to think we have someone who paid the price already, Jesus, Yeshua…King of Kings and Lord of Lords…so why do we flounder?  WHY? Because we get in the way. Love on my friends, love on.

I’m hungry now 🙂

About Brenda

"Brenda adores the birds. She is enchanted with their grace, their beauty. It was the birds and being out among them that gave her the peace she so needed and forged a new passion She uses a camera to capture those incredible moments, to savor them and share them with others. For her the camera was freedom. Brenda spent her life healing others, and dealing with incredible pain and despair. The world of birds and nature and photography was what she turned to in order to see the beautiful side of the world" Eric Curtis Cummings
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Eat Me

  1. Myke Todd says:

    Reading this, I found myself with a song in my head, “If I Could See the World through the Eyes of a Child” as recorded by Patsy Cline… Upon completion of the blog, I leave thing, it is good to see the world through the eyes of Brenda.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s