Ever have a day when the alarms go off in your head like hearing a racing train to hell? You know, twilight zone numbness when your inner voice is yelling “NFW! ” You’ve been here before, not so long ago where the temptation to defend yourself is yielded to as your blood boils, you falter. Taking control you grab those reins, slip your foot in the stirrup and with a lounge, low in the saddle you straddle thoroughbred hips and ride. East end meets essex and the rush for climax has suddenly turned into a boot camp trilogy. It’s the next day and the ache is now felt. Only one thought is heard; “DUMB ASS!” Tears have subsided after final notices of expulsion are reiterated in your mind like locked wheels on metal. You can almost smell the tar and oil, smoke stings your eyes as the baited sparks of locomotion now hindered by the gavel of authority. Well done! You’ve managed to stop and face your fear, life is not getting any easier and why oh why are you rushing to “make things right”?! Some things need to be discarded, especially this; living life defensively. It’s then you take a deep breath and exhale as yet another layer has been stripped off. It’s at this moment you see, wordlessness is best, yup, it’s difficult describing a knowing. It’s mysterious this reflected awareness. It’s like a hug from my dad, like actually seeing that twinkle in his eye once again, you just know everything will be alright . . . despite the chaos. It’s like a sound sweep and without uttering a word more you can face the truth and let the incident
actually let you chuckle cleanse you. (don’t kid yourself, it hurts like hell) It’s at this precious moment you realize you finally are living what you believe. Wrapped in peace, you take a deep breath, dust off your feet and humbly walk on. You cling onto the encourager who says; it’s a clean slate. And you’re not the first one to ever feel this way. Maybe it’s because this is the first time you’ve ever been so far out on the branch! It hits you, how protected and loved you are, the rhema moment when knowing every day is well…like Rascal sang it, just like this!
All we have to do is believe, cherishing the ones we love and even do not love, because we do not know them yet, yes, this is the greatest breath to take in.