Impulse to Create…WRITE!

Today is 9/11, anniversary of change, broken dreams and chaos. America never to be the same, after the destruction of so many lives and then a war we didn’t even want.

Living in this world isn’t easy

Awoke today with the impulse to write, turning on my journal, (pet name for my laptop) discover ALL my word documents, files and pictures are gone.

A Troll, back door Trojan , unbeknownst to me, made home in my computer and deleted years of information. In retrospect,  my reaction,  blew me away! Even then, knew, NEW memories would be made.  Yes, at a point in my life where documents of information about me, my thoughts, my essays, my papers, my work, my unpublished books, resume’s, all of my history, didn’t mean a thing to me, except loosing snapshots of my family and friends.

The pulse of who I am can never be erased

Nevertheless, know, deep down I am different since my dad has passed. How I loved him. It makes me think of all the ones who lost their loved ones early…9/11/2001, death, broken relationships, expose the heart, …reveal one’s essence. Seeds of promise destroyed before their time. Destruction, uninvited, revealing in fact just how vulnerable we are.

My son, a computer guru was able to diagnose the problem in less then 15 min, even finding the answer to retrieve my lost data via; combofix.  So thankful, yet still pondering my initial reactions.

How does one stay authentic to their real essence? Even after the loss of everything held dear? They just need a combofix! Funny, they say as a warning;  “Please note that running this program without supervision can cause your computer to not operate correctly. Therefore only run this program at the request of an experienced helper.”  This makes me think of all my precious family, friends, therapists and Pastors who have touched my life in times of loss, in times of living!

Wow, how we need one another, how interconnected we have all become. All I know, because of this “treatment” all my files were retrieved. I donated to this program’s author, why? I know how difficult it is to create these programs. Have seen my son do this for a living. Very seldom do you get recognition. It also got me thinking about the story of the Lepers healed in the old testament, 10 of them healed and only one came back to say “thank you”.

Actions of heartfelt thanksgiving fuel creativity and seed NEW LIFE, and to think, all we have to do is BELIEVE … and love your neighbor as yourself!

About Brenda

"Brenda adores the birds. She is enchanted with their grace, their beauty. It was the birds and being out among them that gave her the peace she so needed and forged a new passion She uses a camera to capture those incredible moments, to savor them and share them with others. For her the camera was freedom. Brenda spent her life healing others, and dealing with incredible pain and despair. The world of birds and nature and photography was what she turned to in order to see the beautiful side of the world" -Eric Curtis Cummings
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10 Responses to Impulse to Create…WRITE!

  1. Jo says:

    Well, believing isn’t really enough, you also have to live the life you believe in. What one gives is in direct proportion to what what receives.
    Glad you got your ‘memories’ back and very glad you have that brilliant son!

    • drchoneydew says:

      Only if one believes in something can one act purposefully. To give..with no thoughts of repayment…wow truly THIS is living WHOLE..holy. Thanks Jo..he is brilliant..our precious future

  2. Kathy says:

    I am glad that you were able to retrieve what was thought lost. What a nightmare! So glad you were given the impulse to write… I enjoy visiting you in cyber space.


    • drchoneydew says:

      It wasn’t as bad as i thought..then..did retrieve everything..guess it just let me realize new beginnings aren’t so scary and YOU TOO visiting your space in cyber land :0)

  3. Amy Morgan says:

    Wow – this really took me by surprise. So many depths of loss, healing and redemption. Self analysis, forgiveness and gratitude. This came across as a wonderful lesson without beng preach at all. I’m glad you had a fortunate ending and really pleased you shared this with us.

  4. I think, I know, I always enjoy your posts. Life is so much more than external crap, it’s the human connection in all it’s glorious forms. Still, retrieving the record of your dreams, oh yeah, happy day.

  5. Leigh Young says:

    Nicely done. I like that even though you had lost everything, you still maintained “yourself”. You have shed your old skin…shiny and new!

  6. Joyce says:

    Good reminder on how I need to backup my files.

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