Living in this world isn’t easy
Awoke today with the impulse to write, turning on my journal, (pet name for my laptop) discover ALL my word documents, files and pictures are gone.
A Troll, back door Trojan , unbeknownst to me, made home in my computer and deleted years of information. In retrospect, my reaction, blew me away! Even then, knew, NEW memories would be made. Yes, at a point in my life where documents of information about me, my thoughts, my essays, my papers, my work, my unpublished books, resume’s, all of my history, didn’t mean a thing to me, except loosing snapshots of my family and friends.
The pulse of who I am can never be erased
Nevertheless, know, deep down I am different since my dad has passed. How I loved him. It makes me think of all the ones who lost their loved ones early…9/11/2001, death, broken relationships, expose the heart, …reveal one’s essence. Seeds of promise destroyed before their time. Destruction, uninvited, revealing in fact just how vulnerable we are.
My son, a computer guru was able to diagnose the problem in less then 15 min, even finding the answer to retrieve my lost data via; combofix. So thankful, yet still pondering my initial reactions.
How does one stay authentic to their real essence? Even after the loss of everything held dear? They just need a combofix! Funny, they say as a warning; “Please note that running this program without supervision can cause your computer to not operate correctly. Therefore only run this program at the request of an experienced helper.” This makes me think of all my precious family, friends, therapists and Pastors who have touched my life in times of loss, in times of living!
Wow, how we need one another, how interconnected we have all become. All I know, because of this “treatment” all my files were retrieved. I donated to this program’s author, why? I know how difficult it is to create these programs. Have seen my son do this for a living. Very seldom do you get recognition. It also got me thinking about the story of the Lepers healed in the old testament, 10 of them healed and only one came back to say “thank you”.
Actions of heartfelt thanksgiving fuel creativity and seed NEW LIFE, and to think, all we have to do is BELIEVE … and love your neighbor as yourself!